"He's such a nice guy, why don't you want to date him?"

"I was so nice to her, and she still wouldn't go out with me."

"My problem is that I'm too nice, and I always end up in the friend zone."

"Girls never go for nice guys."

I hear one of the above sentences, or at least some variation of them, almost every single day without fail and at this point, it's just ridiculous.

While there's absolutely nothing wrong with being a nice guy, what I have a problem with is thinking that because you're not a complete asshole, it means you're entitled to any girl you want. Honestly, we're at a point in our lives where no one is actually obligated to do anything. If I wanted to drop out of school, change my major, make any life-altering decision I wanted to, I could. So please, for the love of God, with all of those possibilities in front of me, stop trying to make me feel like I'm obligated to have romantic feelings for you just because you're "nice."

I know at this point in most college girl's lives, we've gotten used to being treated badly by guys. And the blame for that doesn't fall entirely on the guys we date either, I fully accept the blame for doing things like consciously knowing that a guy was probably going to treat me badly and going for him anyway, or going back to a guy it didn't work out with in the past. In those situations, being treated like less than I deserve was completely my fault. In any situation where I didn't treat myself with the respect I wanted from a guy, it is completely my fault.

But unfortunately, I've also been in a lot of situations where guys have treated me with a complete and total lack of respect that was wholly uncalled for. And because of those situations, basic niceness from guys isn't really something I'm used to. Pretty sure my jaw actually dropped open the first time a guy opened a car door for me. But that's not my point. My point is, even though a guy being polite is rare, it shouldn't be the only redeeming quality we look for when attempting to find a guy to date. I think that's something that we should expect, instead of being in awe when a guy happens to not treat us like something he can walk all over. Anyone can come across as nice, very few guys follow through with it once they think they have you.

So pardon me, for not being impressed by the simple fact that a guy is "nice." I expect all guys to be nice, otherwise, there's no way I'm interested in getting to know them as a person, let alone interested in dating them. While being nice is great, you need to have other redeeming qualities. Be smart. Have things that you're passionate about, things that you love so much that your eyes light up when someone asks you about them. Respect my boundaries and don't try to get me to hook up with you the first time that we hang out. Being "nice" isn't impressive. Anyone can be nice, what really matters is how you follow up with it. I don't just want to know that you're a nice guy. I want to know that you love your family, that you're dedicated to your future, that you have respect for yourself and the people around you.

Besides that, no girl is obligated to have feelings for you or be romantically interested in you just because you decide that you like her. And quite honestly, if you think just generally being a decent human being earns you the right to have any girl you want, you're probably not really that "nice" of a guy. Sometimes there just aren't romantic feelings there, and that's OK. Any girl knows that the ever complained about and famous "friendzone" usually just consists of guys that we don't necessarily see a romantic future with, but we still think are awesome and want to spend time with. I'm not completely sure why that's such a bad thing. And if a guy is truly "nice," he won't either.

Just like most girls in college, I'm busy. And at this risk of sounding rude here, my life is chaotic and when I do have free time, I don't want it to be wasted. And at this point in my experience with dating in college, if the only thing you can come up with to say about yourself is that you're "nice," that's a red flag to me that you're probably going to end up wasting my time. If I had a dollar for every time a guy claimed to be "such a nice guy" and "so different from other guys" but ended up treating me like trash, I'd have a lot of money. It's not about just being nice. That, in all honesty, is a total cop-out. It's about being a true gentleman. Because a true gentleman knows that being kind and polite is just a staple of life, not something to be praised for.

So just a fair warning to all of the guys out there who think that just being nice is enough to land you any girl you think you're entitled to, it isn't. Be more than that. I know a lot of amazing guys, and if you were to ask me to describe one of them, the first thing I say about him definitely isn't going to be that he's just "nice."