I have always been a very shy and anxious introvert since I was five years old. My nerves would affect me so badly that I would create stomach ulcers from the stress alone. Social anxiety was something I struggled with all throughout high school. I always kept to myself. I was the girl who avoided reality and other people, the one who preferred to be alone with her books. I had maybe one or two friends at the most, we were and still are, like sisters. When I entered high school I never joined social activities and had no idea how to make new friends. It felt like running full speed into a brick wall - and it didn't help that the school was a cliquey private school. I flew not only under the radar but literally off the grid. I went to that school for 13 years and I still feel like many of the other students didn't know me. Not that it was their fault - I was extremely introverted. But that didn't mean I enjoyed being alone.

Luckily, my life went through a huge shift my senior year at high school. So many things were happening to me that pushed me out of my comfort zone - falling in love for the first time, getting a retail job, getting ready for college. My job broke me out of my shell the most. I was forced to learn how to appropriately talk to strangers at my job and not over think or worry about every little thing I said. The first time a customer got impatient with me I went home and cried for hours - now I don't even bat an eye as the short-haired woman in front of me is yelling at my face, and I just say in a very monotone voice,"Let me get you my manager." I learned quickly and efficiently that upsetting a total stranger will never affect my life or my relationships, whether I embarrass myself or not. As for falling in love - it was fast, terrifying, and crashed into a million burning pieces within 7 months - but I came out stronger for it, more confident. I learned how to be funny in order to hide my nerves, how to strike up a conversation, how to be a good person to others. I had transformed into an extroverted introvert. And then came the next big step to test my skills - going to college.

College itself is a whole different world from high school - in a good way. I honestly fell in love with Montevallo the minute I set foot on the gorgeous campus. I have only been here a little over a month and I have met so many incredible people - My roommate, my squad (you know who you are), my amazing sorority sisters - I am honestly overwhelmed with the welcome I have received here at my new home. I have never had so many friends in my entire life - and it is both amazing and terrifying. I am now a part of a social life that i have no experience with and no idea how to manage my time efficiently. Then a problem introduced itself: I had no problem making these friends, but how do I keep them? Then the anxiety started; overthinking every little text, worried they might think I'm weird, unsocial, odd. I found myself wanting to be isolated again, often staying in my dorm and wanting to just hide under my covers away from the rest of the world. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to hang out with my friends and love being around them - but my over worrying about myself and how they see me was taking its toll on my mental health. Thus is the struggle of being an extroverted introvert.

But then I realized something - if they haven't run away at this point, why should I be worried they will now? I don't have to be the most social butterfly in the world, but it's about time that I make lifelong friendships. Opening up to my friends should be a sign of bonding and not of weakness. Relationships don't have to be the perfect ones that I always read in my books; they're messy, frustrating, and what we all need desperately to function in society. So if you find yourself struggling to make or keep friendships, do not be afraid to reach out. And if you find yourself as a friend of an extroverted introvert, please try to understand their fear and not take it in a negative way.You are truly special to be chosen as their friend, because I, being extroverted introvert, trust my friends with everything and would fight for each and every one of them.