Five different states, nine different cities, 11 different houses, and eight different schools.
Moving around so much made me a victim of "the new girl" at many times. Each experience was different but I mainly felt the same way through each of them.
Moving to me was of course never a shock and never really upset me until my teen years when I started growing stronger connections with those around me. I really have my parents and sisters to thank for always being by my side and always being there when I needed them. When they say I was struggling with a move, they would do anything in their power to make me feel comfortable in my new setting.
The one thing my parents couldn't shelter me from was of course being "the new girl" at school. I don't think there was ever one time when I walked through the doors of a new school completely confident. My first initial reaction was to always scope the place out—where my classes were, what the classroom was like, and of course the cliques. The first few days I always tried to blend in more than anything else, standing out as the new girl was never something I looked forward to. Of course this varied upon how close everyone was at the schools, if it was a school where the majority all went to elementary school and middle school together of course everyone is going to notice an unfamiliar face.
One thing I absolutely hated about the first day of class was of course those teachers who always thought it was a good idea to make you stand up and introduce yourself.. thats probably one of the most annoying things a teacher can do.. No one wants to be singled out in front of a room of people who they don't know just to say "Hi my name is...I'm from..." I would rather blend in then be singled out.
Lunch was probably one of the most awkward parts of it all for me. You don't know who anyone is, where everyone sits, or really what to do. I always brought lunch from home the first day because of it and always tried to at least find one person who had the same lunch as me before the fact. I would normally find at least one person but other times I found myself alone and feeling awkward yet again.
I always hated the "Hi I'm...are you new?" people who almost talk down to you just because you don't know anyone. No I'm not talking about the nice people who would introduce themselves because they are genuine people who cared and actually wanted to talk to you, but the people who only talked to you to say "yeah, I've talked to the new girl, have you" there were always these people no matter where I moved. The ones who talk to you once and shun you the rest of the time because they got what they wanted out of you. It was always so discouraging to me to find these people, especially because you normally know if they are that kind of person right off the bat.
Moving around a lot also got so exhausting to me, making friends, saying bye, making friends, saying bye was starting to become the norm and not one I really liked especially getting into my teens. When you're older and you start to find those friends who you know are your life long friends from the beginning it starts to get harder and harder to say goodbye. You are almost convinced its not actually as bad as it seems up until the day you are standing in front of them about to get in that car and leave. The crying, hugging and goodbyes make everything so real to you.
Adjusting to the long distance friendship is always a weird experience too. You both go from talking almost every day to talking every once and a while. It may seem like you're drifting apart but once you pick up that phone, video call, or step off the plane to see them, everything falls back to what they use to be and its like you didn't even leave.
Being the "new girl" is not all about the struggles of making friends, but saying goodbyes to others. I am actually extreemly grateful for all these moves because I have met some amazing people who I wouldn't have met otherwise. Although adjusting seems nearly impossible, you always find it hard to let go.
