Suicidal doesn't always mean holding a gun to your head, or wrapping a rope around your neck. It's not always drowning in a bottle of pills, or drinking enough for alcohol poisoning. Sometimes suicidal means smoking cigarettes in the hope one day your end up with cancer. Not eating in the hopes that your body will just give up on you. Jaywalking or speeding in the hopes that your get hit or crash, and not wake up. It can mean having sex with a stranger in the hopes your get an STD and die. Putting yourself in dangerous situations, and maybe not living to tell the story.

Sometimes being suicidal doesn't mean you would have the guts to kill yourself, but if a bus were to come your way, or a gun be pointed at your head, you wouldn't necessarily run. Being this way could mean pushing people away in hopes that no one will stay. You're stuck in-between not wanting to exist for yourself, but wanting to exist for others.

It means not putting effort into living anymore. Suicide is permanent, there's no coming back. There is unanswered questions, and guilt. Some people do feel that suicide is the only way out, but it's not. They will never get to see what their life could have been. They leave people behind. They put a end to the happiness they could have created.

Suicide is a hard topic to speak about, because the ones that feel this way can explain, but others will judge. Sometimes people really feel like they want to die, but its the lack of feeling alive that makes them feel this way. Suicide will never be the answer. There is help out there, and people who do care. You're not alone, others feel the same way.

This is a typical thing to say, but to anyone feeling this way, it gets better.