I’m in a Starbucks, drinking one of their new Cascara Lattes (big fan) and eating an organic cheese stick, which makes me reminisce about my childhood. I don’t fully understand why I’m on the verge of tears until the woman across from me agrees to watch my bag while I go to the bathroom. Her floral laptop case and crooked-toothed smile are an oddly comforting sight. I go to call my mom and I see she’s already messaged me,
“How’s my daughter doing?”
My parents have a strange texting language. They often put “…” after everything. For example, when I used to ask if a friend could come over, they’d respond with “Sure…”, as if they were skeptical and they’d be watching if we, 16-year-olds, broke a lamp. My dad also loves using emojis in place of words.
I make my way to the bathroom, thanking the lord that my tear soaked face doesn’t have to ask someone for a code to open the door. I guess Boston is more trusting than New York. I call my mom.
Hearing her voice on the phone is like entering a warm, dinner-scented house after being out in the rain. She asks how I am and I say I’m kind of sad. I start to tell her about my day and all the little things that are stressing me out. When I let myself think about what’s annoying me, I get creative and suddenly realize there are more things than I initially thought.
This is not uncommon for me. She often compares me to a rollercoaster and tells me, “Right now is just the down part, but it never lasts that long”. Sometimes I can’t explain why I’m overwhelmed. I just know I have reached my limit.
She asks if I’m eating well and how much sleep I’m getting. She’s a firm believer in not overextending yourself. This is because as a nurse practitioner who specializes in heart failure, she’s the queen of listening and comforting. I imagine she treats me like one of her patients who just had a heart attack: using a soft voice, recommending rest and asking about my sleeping patterns.
I indulge in the feeling of defeat. I let myself be taken care of by her words. Then I come to my senses and go full speed into what I need to get done, be that a homework assignment or a nap.
