For as long as I can remember, I have always been a people pleaser. This is not a bad thing; however, may times throughout my short 21 years of life it has caused me to forget about my needs and my self worth. Well, that stops now. I have always been in a constant battle with wanting to show everyone I come in contact with the same unconditional love that God shows me, because everyone deserves love. And that's just the thing -- everyone, including myself. I can't continue solely living my life for everyone else. While, yes, God tells us that we are supposed to love our neighbors, we also have to love ourselves. It is OK to be selfish sometimes. You do not have to accept less than you deserve ever.
Everyone has their own struggles and their own baggage, and it is such a beautiful thing when you can overlook that and love them regardless. But, there is the thing, just because you love someone does not mean you have to allow that person to treat you terribly because of their struggles and baggage. You can still love them, just from afar. Instead of allowing yourself to be torn down, you can just pray for them. You can be there for someone without being there. At some point, you have to realize your self worth.
No matter how much you love someone, if they are not treating you the way you deserve, you do not have to stick around and allow yourself to be treated that way. This is not just limited to romantic relationships either. If you are in a friendship with someone that doesn't realize your self worth, then leave. It always sucks when a relationship of any kind ends; however, it is going to pay off when you decide that you want more for yourself. The thing I struggle with the most is walking away from people. I strive to be a Godly woman and to give everyone the love that they deserve. But whenever the bad outweighs the good in a relationship of any kind, you have to be strong enough to walk away. The people that don't want to lose you will never put themselves in the position to do so.
God has made each and every one of us uniquely special with a beautiful heart, which we should guard. Not everyone deserves for you to open your heart and give them all you've got, and that's OK.
From now on, I choose me. I choose to love myself first, and not allowing anyone to make me feel as if that is a bad thing. I am choosing to still be selfless and love others, while also being selfish when it comes to who I allow to be in my life and give my time and heart to. I choose to love everyone, but to keep healthy boundaries surrounding my heart, and saving it for the ones that deserve it.
"I don't know why we hang onto something we know we are better off letting go of. It's like we are scared to lose what we don't really have. Some of us say we'd rather have something than absolutely nothing, but the truth is, to have it halfway is harder than to not have it at all."
