Plus sized. Society has taught us that being plus sized isn't beautiful or attractive. You look at a Victoria's Secret ads and all you see are young, smaller women wearing their products. When you go to a store like Hollister or American Eagle, they strive to have clothes for smaller people. To me as a woman who is plus sized I find this more offensive than anything.
Yes, there's stores out there now that have plus sized clothing, but there's still such stigmatism and disgust towards those who wear those clothes. Who cares if I want to wear a two-piece bathing suit? Who cares if I want to wear a crop top? Yeah I have a belly that isn't flat and I don't have abs. So what? I enjoy being how I am.
Honestly, I know that my weight isn't healthy because it isn't. I know this. However, spending every single day of my life worrying about how many calories I eat or how many carbs I eat will literally drive me crazy. I understand that being healthy is what I should want, and I do want to be healthier. I eat more vegetables, I drink more water and less pop and I eat less portions. For me, that's me working to be healthier. And if I don't lose a lot of weight with exercising on top of that, then that's fine. If I sat and worried about everything to became the size of a model, I would literally worry myself to death.
I don't want to spend my life worrying about how I look to other people. Yet, I do because in today's society its how attractive you look on the outside that almost always matters when it comes to relationships. Why though? Many people know who I am and how my personality is. I don't find many people who hate me or dislike me in any way. But the number one reason I get rejected by guys is because of my weight.
I want to be strong and say that I don't care what anyone thinks of me, but that's not true. It's embarrassing when you get told that you need to work out and lose weight to be with someone. It's also hard when you get told that you should get one of those gastric bypass surgeries because of your weight. I agree that gastric bypass surgery may help me be healthier, but honestly living as a plus sized woman has become part of who I am in a way. I've been a bigger girl my whole life.
Looking back though, if I wouldn't have been bullied and tormented as much as I was about my weight, I probably wouldn't have gotten this far. In one of my previous articles, I spoke about my severe depression and anxiety, which is believed that I got due to being afraid of being judged and tormented by literally everyone around me. Being a plus sized woman has given me strength to be myself, but also has destroyed any way for me to trust and feel comfortable with myself.
Plus sized people get this bad reputation, since we're not considered beautiful, but what society is doing is just making us worse. When I'm upset, I eat. So when society says its our fault that we're this way, they're wrong. They need to turn around and look at themselves more closely to see that what they do with the clothing lines and the way they portray who is considered beautiful in the media. Those are what is basically killing us, and yet they expect us to change to how they believe we should be. Me, well I say society isn't going to change who I am.
