Y’all, long distance is not easy by any means. If you and your boyfriend/girlfriend are about to go your separate ways, have been doing long distance for a while, or long distance is part of your past, you can attest to the fact that it brings many lessons. You are all too familiar with “the face” that people have given you when you say you’re doing long distance, people questioning if that’s a good decision, and some doing the exact opposite. If you are about to start a chapter of distance in your relationship, let me just start by saying this: long distance is by no means stupid. It’s not a waste of time. It is what it is for every individual relationship. Some days will feel easy and some will feel like they couldn’t possibly go by any slower.
I have been dating my boyfriend, Matt, since our freshman year in high school—so for about three and a half years. We have been in a long distance relationship since the end of June. So in other words, the long distance thing has not been going on for too long. It’s been quite a transition—we used to live 2 minutes away from each other, and now he is 1,676 miles away at West Point. When his basic training started, we weren’t able to text at all. We had to deal with snail mail, and I've only gotten one phone call in six weeks. Thankfully, we just got to reunite after seven brutal weeks and we gained our communication back. During those seven weeks, we grew, both individually and in our relationship, and learned countless lessons that we will hold on to.
1. Your friends are your backbone.
When Matt left Texas, I was completely heartbroken. Saying goodbye to someone that you love is one of the most emotional things you can do, but wow, I have really learned which of my friends I can 100% rely on to support me. There have been girls that I’ve received so much love from on my good, bad, and worst days since he left. Whether I need to have a 10 minute (or 100 minute) pity party on how much I hate long distance or I need to be distracted, I know who I can run to for support.
2. So many people take their relationships for granted, but you can't spend your time getting angry at them.
During a period of long distance, it feels like everyone in the world is suddenly in a relationship and that their boyfriend/girlfriend is an easy drive away. Your Instagram feed seems to feature new couples every single day, and people tweet nonstop about the date that they’re on instead of enjoying the precious time that they’re having. And while that’s annoying, it’s okay. Odds are that you used to have some bad habits that caused you to not fully appreciate the time you had with your partner before going long distance. You quickly learn what those bad habits are when there is a separation. Instead of being angry at people who you think don’t make good use of their time, use that as an incentive to cherish the time you get with everyone.
3. Reuniting with your boyfriend/girlfriend brings a completely new level of joy into your life.
ALL THE TEARS. You know that whole “taking things for granted” stuff? That doesn’t happen one bit when you get to finally see each other. Just getting to hold their hand goes from being an instinctive thing to being such a joy and a privilege. Your hugs become a little longer and tighter and you truly feel like there is nobody on the face of the earth who could be happier than you are when you’re finally back with your partner.
4. Prayer is so important.
Praying for each other is such a small (yet very big) way to keep Christ at the center. While you may not be able to talk 24/7 anymore, you know how to pray for them because while being a significant other, you’re also their best friend. I try (notice that I say try...by no means do I always succeed) to say a quick little prayer every time that Matt crosses my mind and I’ve found that we have grown to become more open with each other. I truly believe that this is because of the way that we have prayed for each other since the day that he left.
5. Being dependent on your boyfriend/girlfriend won't work. Only being dependent on Christ will.
You won’t be able to depend on your partner in the way that you have in the past. It just isn’t the same anymore, but if you learn to put that dependency in Christ instead, it makes such a difference. Just like how praying for each other brought us closer together, I believe that growing closer to God first brings the same results.
6. Regardless of whether or not the relationship will last, being in a long distance relationship is worth the lessons that it will teach you.
Obviously, if you’re willing to challenge yourself by going into a long distance relationship with/for someone that you love, you don’t really plan on seeing that relationship end. It takes a completely different level of commitment to be able to get through all of the challenges that a LDR brings. But I can honestly say that if my relationship with my boyfriend ended up not working out (which I sure hope doesn’t end up happening), I will still have walked away knowing much more about myself and The Lord’s faithfulness than I did before we became a long distance pair. Regardless of what the outcome is in my relationship, I know that I will walk away a better person because of how much I have learned over this summerand I can’t wait to see what else God will teach me. If you take anything away from this article, let it be this: in order to get through the good and bad days, it takes communication, honesty, patience, and most importantly, faith.
