Being called a loner seems to be some kind of insult. Like I remember in high school, people who preferred to spend time alone were made fun of. I never quite understood why. They just didn't like to spend a lot of time with other people.
Can I just say that there is absolutely nothing wrong with that?
What is so terrible about wanting to spend time alone?
Spending time alone seems to be such a taboo thing. Basically, if you do anything alone nowadays, you seem like such a loser, like you have no friends. People rely so much on spending time with others. I rarely meet people now that like to be alone. When I tell people that I don't want to go out, they look at me weirdly. They then go on to say something along the lines of, "Come on it will be fun," or "Don't be such a loser." Not wanting to go out or hang out with other people doesn't mean I'm not going to be doing something I find fun, and it most certainly doesn't mean I am a loser. It just means I prefer to be alone. When you are with other people, you can't always do what you want. You have, or at least I have, a tendency to do things that other people might find fun or enjoy. Not saying I don't enjoy everything I do when I hang out with people, I'm just saying that I like to let others decide what to do because I don't want to choose to do something and have the other person/people not be enjoying their time. However, if I am alone, I can do whatever I want to do and not have to worry about pleasing others.
One of the main things I hear when I say I don't want to go out is that I'm being boring and then the person tries to convince me to go with them. Maybe to them I am being boring, but to me, I'm going to be doing something I enjoy. A lot of times, when I don’t go out with people, I do other things. I don't just sit around and stare at a wall. I read or I write or I just sit and think about anything because no one is there to interrupt my thoughts. It's not like I wait around for them to get back. I have other things that I would prefer to do rather than go out. Sometimes, you just have to take time away from others and be by yourself. It's not terrible to be alone. If you don't want to hang out with others, you shouldn't have to explain yourself.
Another thing I hear constantly from people is that I have no friends. I do have friends, and I do spend time with them when I want to. Even though I love all my friends, I'm not going to spend every waking moment with them. I will never be able to understand how someone can literally spend every single day with someone. I have friends who are never alone. They are always with someone, and that will just never make any sense to me. Don't they ever just want to spend even a day alone and do things they want? Then they will go on to tell me I have no friends because I don't hang out with them or anyone else. No, I don't hang out with people every day because I have my own life, and it most certainly doesn't revolve around other people. If I want to be alone, I will be alone. If I want to hang out with someone, I will. I don't need to convince anyone that I have friends or that I'm not a loner. If I don’t want to do something, I shouldn't be ridiculed for it.
Being alone isn't such a terrible thing, and I will never be able to wrap my head around why people think it's so horrifying to spend time alone. It's really not that big of a deal, but people make it out to seem way worse than it is. There is nothing wrong with being alone, and if anyone tells you otherwise, then it is them that has the issue and not you. Take time off and do things by yourself; you may be surprised at how much you really enjoy time alone.
