The amount of times I have been told “you're such a girl," especially since I've joined a sorority, is innumerable. I like to ramble on for absurd lengths of time about The Bachelor, make online wish lists at my favorite stores for no reason and obsess over boy bands who will never be aware of my existence. I have been called girly almost as much as I've been called my name, and for some reason, I always took that as such an insult. Why? Why have I been so offended to be called girly? I am a girl. Why am I not proud of that?
It's so easy to have a picture of what it means to be traditionally feminine in our minds. We've all heard the phrase “throw like a girl" or “hit like a girl" or even “don't be such a girl" - all different phrases that generally equivocate femininity to weakness. There is a quote in one of my favorite shows, New Girl, in which the main character, Jess, explains that just because she brakes for birds and wears a lot of polka dots and uses glitter doesn't mean that she isn't tough and smart and strong. This quote resonated with me, and with a bunch of other girls who I discussed it with.
I know girls who train for marathons but still pour over their closets stressing about which dress would be cutest for formal. Girls who get excited about self-defense classes and also One Direction, girls who own just as many pairs of Nike's as they do heels and girls who would take a Blackhawks game over The Bachelor any day of the week. Does this make them any more or less girly than the other? Girly does not imply painted nails or long hair or Barbie dolls or skirts. Being girly, and also being a girl, does not imply anything.
There is no way that one word, one adjective could encompass every individual detail and intricacy of an entire gender. A girl is allowed to be whatever it is that she is pulled toward, and that choice has nothing to do with the gender she identifies herself with. I'm sure there are some who think feminism is a dirty word, and roll their eyes whenever they read a “girls can be whoever they want to be and can achieve whatever" rant. However, here's the truth: girls can be whoever they want to be and can achieve whatever. Girly should not be an insult. A gender should not be considered an insult.
My favorite color is purple, and I love romantic comedies. I've always dreamed of being a princess and I used to be a ballerina. I like to talk about my feelings and I feel prettiest when I'm in a dress. These things have nothing to do with being girly. These things have everything to do with being me. Being a girl is a different experience to each individual, and there is no way that one of my most basic identifiers should be something I'm ashamed of.
