One Time I Was Kind Of Engaged, And It Was Awkward AF

One Time I Was Kind Of Engaged, And It Was Awkward  AF

"I want you to jingle my bells and be my ho ho ho forever so...marry me?"


*I will be changing the names of the guys in this story. It's like my childless, less famous version of Mamma Mia.*

You'll need some backstory to follow along and decide how you think this should've turned out.

The guy that proposed to me was my best friend who I had a thing with for approximately the past eight years. He was close with all of my family, and all of my friends (and even teachers) told me to be with him. Plus, he has a cute dog. We will call this guy Stan. (They're all getting ugly names.)

The main problem with this story comes when you find out I had a boyfriend. This boyfriend's name was...Bert. I barely knew Bert when we started dating, but he seemed really nice, and nice is what I needed at the time. Bert and I argued a lot, and our relationship was unhealthy.

Wow. A high school relationship being unhealthy? Shocking, I know.

Bert HATED Stan. I mean, like despised this guy. Bert knew Stan's intentions, and Stan thrived making Bert angry. Stan is really petty like that. Stan knew all my relationship problems, and he wanted me to leave Bert the day we got together. Stan didn't actually acknowledge that I was dating someone. He acted like it wasn't happening. Stan always referred to me as his "wife" and word got back to Bert how Stan talked about me. Most of my arguments with Bert revolved around Stan, but Stan was my best friend.

I'm never going to pick a guy over my friends. Okay honestly, I had feelings for Stan too. For the past eight years. Talk about a real love triangle, right?

One day, little me was strolling down the hall, minding my own business, doing important stuff that a senior in high school needs to be doing (lol) when I walk into the high school library. Stan, the librarian (a big Stan advocate), and my friends were chilling by the desk when I walked in. I went into the back room, and I heard some whispers and then silence, so when I came out, Stan was down on one knee. Stan had a Christmas ornament as the ring.

I know this sounds weird, but Stan knew I hated rings and loved Christmas. The Christmas ornament had a lacrosse stick on it, and he told me he picked that one out because the lacrosse games are where our parents became friends and our families had gotten so close because of it, and that's when we started spending so much time together. On the back of the ornament, Stan had written with a permanent marker a real romantic note: "I want you to jingle my bells and be my ho ho ho forever so...marry me?"

A real charmer that one.

Stan also gave me a bracelet, and he sat there looking up at me waiting for an answer, but all I did was laugh and say, "you're an idiot," and I don't even remember telling Bert the whole story. Bert and I didn't last too long, and I ended up going on some dates with Stan right when Bert and I broke up. Stan still referred to me as his "fiancee," but I never did give an actual answer. I have not talked to Stan or Bert in many, many months. Go figure.

That is the story of my five-minute high school engagement.

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To My Boyfriend, Over The Next Few Months Apart

Long distance relationships can be hard, especially when months pass apart from one another.


As these roughly next five months apart pass know that you are always on my mind and in my heart.

We began our relationship together apart with states between us and the agonizing realization that this would be our relationship for quite some time. However, after months of numerous FaceTime calls, text messages and phone calls the time to see each other for the first time came! It was the first time we had locked eyes with one another in almost six years since that day we met at church when we were nothing but young eighth graders trying to prepare for an Easter egg race for the younger kids. I knew from the first time I saw you that I liked you.

We, however, did not attend the same school or run in the same circle so our lives took different paths and we never saw each other again. But, we became friends and stayed in touch throughout the years. We both went through tough times and other relationships with other people. Graduated high school and I went off to college and you went off to join the Coast Guard.

Our worlds were in two totally different places. Although we knew some of the same people because we lived in the same town, in those six years we never crossed paths again. It was not until you reached back out to me in October that our journey to where we now truly begin.

Right away I remembered the time six years ago when we met for the very first time and how I instantly fell for you! We caught up and told each other about where our lives were now and soon enough we were falling for each other.

You came into my life at a time when I was trying to start a new beginning after battling every day with depression and the never-ending thought of simply ending my life to make all the pain go away. I let you in and trusted you right off the bat with the darkest parts of me. You knew of my past and the wrongs in which so many individuals have done to me. Yet, you never got scared away, you never left me even when I was so desperately trying to push you out of my life because I was afraid of being hurt by someone else and knew I would never be good enough for you.

Months of long phone calls and texts went by and I was falling head over hills in love with you! When the time came to see each other again after six years it was instant comfort and relaxation! Our life together started with a shopping trip with your wonderful loving mother and sister.

I still remember our first kiss we shared in your car that day! How you asked me to be your girl a few days later after we both met each other's family.

Our time together so far may be small and a big part of it has been spent apart with states between us but, I truly believe that God brought us back together for a reason and he knew we were meant to be!

I am so blessed to have you and even though at times it can be super hard with the distance we always get through it. And I know that these next five months is the longest time we will have been apart since we started this journey together. However, I know this is just another test from God to see if we can make it and I know we will!

The love I have grows for you with each day, from the first time I told you 'I love you' to now! I pray that in these next few months we turn to God to help us get through it and trust that this time apart will only make us stronger together. We are both bettering our lives and starting our futures to begin the journey of our dreams.

Although we might not be right beside each other to do this, know I am with you every step of the way and that I am beyond proud of the man you are becoming and the roads ahead that God is leading you down!

I will see you soon my love, I love you!

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To The Boy I’ve Been Dating Since I Was 15, I Always Knew You Were My Forever

Thank you for showing me love when I thought I didn't deserve any.


Hey you,

People assumed our "fling" would only last a few short months. It's what everyone assumes when your first love happens during your sophomore year of high school. Yet here we stand, three and a half years later, more together than we've ever been. Although we've had our ups and downs, we still managed to keep our relationship going and to remember why we're together in the first place.

Many say loving isn't easy, but you make it a walk in the park.

You respect me in more ways than one, and you make me feel beautiful, inside and out. For a long time, I never noticed the beauty and strength I have within myself. I didn't see what others would point out to me, and at times I still find it hard to acknowledge my worth. However, you came into my life at a time when I felt I had no one, and you helped me to see all I have to offer. You helped me to open my mind to the thought of loving myself for who I am, and although the road is long and I'm not completely there, you've made me see how worthy of love I truly am.

Having you as my best friend, along with being my boyfriend, is the most rewarding feeling in the world.

I think the reason we rarely fight or stay angry with each other is that we truly are best friends. We could spend all of our time in deep conversation about any topic in the world and still feel engaged and ready to hear more from one another. Every single day I learn something new about you and vice versa. We can be ourselves in each other's presence and have fun doing absolutely nothing exciting. I am easily annoyed by a lot of things, but you are not one of them. Being with you for hours, even if we just watch TV the entire time, never gets repetitive or boring.

You treated me with the respect I deserved before I even realized I was worthy of it.

In many ways, I don't respect myself. Whether it be body image or letting "friends" walk all over me, I let many thoughts and people control my life. You, however, were the saving grace I needed. You've shown me how I deserve to be treated and how I should think of myself. Often I wonder how I got so lucky to end up with someone who loves me unconditionally and who values everything I have to offer. I say all the time that I don't deserve your heart, your kindness, your love, but you always remind me that I do. And I'm starting to realize that you're right; I deserve every bit of love, kindness, and respect that you have to offer. I can only hope that I award you with the same love and selflessness you give me every single day.

Three and a half years with someone may seem extremely long, but I feel as though we've been together a lifetime. It's hard to remember a time when you weren't right there beside me, and I would never want to imagine a future without you in it. There are so many more laughs, adventures, and memories to be made with you, and I only hope that I can be at least half of the person you are.

Thank you for pulling me out of the darkness. Today, tomorrow, and always.

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