Growing up I went to summer camp almost every summer that I can remember. From all the activities from camp fires, lake games, to even mealtime, I treasured these moments and considered these weeks to be some of the best and most fun weeks of my life. The atmosphere of being surrounded by nature and feeling the presence of God and bonding close relationships is a feeling I always would crave, and is what would keep bringing me back year after year. I always knew that I wanted to work at camp and give back for all the years camp gave to me which seemed like the coolest job ever to live at camp all summer. I was determined to work at camp when I was old enough and it was a dream that I had ever since I was eight.

Still having the initiative to work at camp after I graduated from high school, my situation took a turn and I went through a dark period of my life my senior year where I almost walked away from the faith completely. From a toxic breakup and a bad injury that almost ended my cheerleading earlier then anticipated, I felt emotionally and physically helpless. Not going into details, I turned to negative ways to deal with the pain I was feeling that led me down a dark tunnel and bad situations to where I looked at myself that I didn't even recognize the person I was anymore, and I turned into the person I told myself I would never be. Around this time I got a call for an interview for the camp job I dreamed about and I felt no way prepared or qualified for the job whatsoever. I went into the one hour interview feeling completely blind and lost, but somehow I got offered the job shockingly.

Forward to two months later I felt a whirlwind of emotions as I was packing up my life for nine weeks to live and work at camp, and I was so scared. I cried the whole way driving myself to camp having no idea what I was actually getting myself into, questioning myself if this was what I was supposed to do. I look back on that lost girl and wish I could've told her how this was going to be the best experience of her life.

Being a camp counselor has taught me so much about myself that I didn't even know about and the plans he has for me and the purposes that he is using me for. I've learned to love myself and not to find my self worth in others, but to find it in the Lord and who he has created me to be. Through the ups and downs of camp life activities and the situations, I have learned how much I have to depend on the Lord and lean on him for strength, because you can literally do nothing on your own strength. I learned how to listen to the Holy Spirit and look to him for guidance, in which I had to make a lot of tough decisions this summer because what the Lord was telling me to do. I learned the power of patience in myself and having patience and grace upon others, because the Lord has patience and grace for us, no matter how many hours of sleep you get or how crazy your campers are being during F.O.B and vespers (but really, praise the lord for FOB). I've learned how much camp can be a healing place and a place where you can be vunable, and there is an amazing community of of people working along side you that are there to help you through anything, which are some of the closes friends I have ever made. Camp is the place where I recommitted my life to the Lord, which is one of the best decisions I have ever made. I also found the joy of pouring into others and how big kids hearts really are, and how much they have changed my life. I have learned to find joy and God in every situation, and how to have fun no matter what. I've learned how important a family really is, and how much the staff really bonds and how important close relationships really are and can last a lifetime.

While working at camp you're on this spiritual high where you're on top of the world, and when camp ended for the summer it was one of the hardest things ever to walk away from the amazing family that was created and the environment. Being in room never felt so lonely and reality of the world hits you all at once. But leaving camp for me, I was a changed person. I had a love and a deep relationship with God that was stronger then ever, and I am constantly still to this day listening to the Holy Spirit in everything I do. I've learned how to love others even when I don't get it in return, because God showed me unending love and extended grace even when I walked away from him. I've stopped fighting the Lord and allowing him in and taking control, which is really hard for me to do. I thought camp needed me, but I think I needed camp even more. It was one of the hardest jobs ever, don't get me wrong, but it was an experience I would give to do all over again.

I hope that others can find their "summer camp", I'm not saying that it literally has to be a summer camp, but to find the experience and a family of people that forever will change your life and will grow in your relationship with the Lord. I look back on my life to working at pre-camp, and I am not the same person. There may be hard times in my life where I struggle, but I won't ever look back and turn into the same person I was before, because I can't do this whole life thing on my own. I think of myself as the blind man Bartimus from Mark 10:52 who was healed by Jesus as he says "'Go, your faith has healed you' Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road." My faith and sight was regained, and I have not looked back ever since.