In today’s world, it seems that more and more people are throwing themselves into pointless relationships for pictures and attention. Every Instagram post or tweet seems to somehow automatically become “goals.” Behind the well-painted façade, I think the desperation for a relationship is rooted from loneliness. We’ve become so spoiled with accessibility, it’s somehow leaked its way into our personal life.
I was in two long-term relationships, and started to realize that no relationship would last unless I learned about myself. It’s so hard to be alone when everyone else around you makes it seem like that’s unnatural. Going to a movie or dinner alone seems weird, taking alone time is a waste, and nothing that involves building and loving yourself seems to fit in society's standards of mental health. So, I have decided to look into the reasons why we may hate being alone, and some ways to start loving the idea of it.
Some people hate being alone simply because psychologically, they're built that way. Extroverts love being around people and feel weird and distant if they are not surrounded with company. Aside from those that crave attention, people simply fear being lonely because it is linked to something “scary” or “depressing.” Their minds are conditioned to always want to be with someone or something because loneliness is not normal. It is also true that sometimes, we fear our thoughts when we're alone. We’re afraid to be alone because we’re afraid of what we’ll think about. In order to avoid these internal feelings, we surround ourselves with others so that we don’t have to confront those issues. Last, we’re afraid of being single. We don’t know what to do, how to have fun, or how to be happy alone. Here are some tips on how you can learn to be happy alone.
You have to accept that you're good enough to be alone. It doesn’t mean that you hate people, but you have the right to set standards and you don’t need the approval of anyone else to be happy. Learn to talk to yourself, in a healthy way. It allows you the distance from other people’s opinions, and you can learn more about yourself than you think. Use that time to be creative, rearrange furniture, write in a book, or maybe even find a new hobby. Free and alone time gives you the opportunity to do the things that you want to do, the way you want to do them. Make plans for the future, both short term and long term. It can excite you about all the great things to come in your future. Last, learn everything you can about who you are; learn to fall in love with yourself. These are a few ways that you learn and enjoy being alone.
Being alone and being lonely are two different things; we allow the ideas of others to paralyze us from getting to know ourselves. We will never be truly happy with another until we are truly happy with ourselves. Although it is amazing to be with someone that loves and adores you, it is more important to love and adore yourself like no one else can.
