Relationships are always difficult. For some, they begin at 15 and for others, they don't begin dating until they are in their early 20's and neither is wrong. I personally began dating at a younger age, and I am thankful that I did and here's why.
The guys I dated were all different. They all had different personalities and all came from different backgrounds of life. One was a country boy I met at 13, another was one I met at summer camp when I was 15 and ended up going to high school together, and a couple others I went to high school with. They were all very different. Country boy, family man, basketball player, the funny one and the one I never saw coming.
The younger you date, I think, the more lessons you learn. I learned a lot of lessons. It may have hurt me a lot along the way, but it will hopefully save me from heartbreak in the future from the things I have already gone through in my past that hurt me. I have been through it all when it comes to guys. I always end up getting hurt. The abuse I have had to endure in some relationships has sometimes been unbearable and very difficult to handle. The emotional, the psychical, the mental abuse.
At 16 years old I was in my first real long-term relationship. I was just beginning a new school and I was super excited for that and a new boyfriend. He was the sweetest. He was always complimenting me and did everything he could to make sure I was happy and showing me off. Before I came to my new school I had just lost around 50 pounds or more so I was feeling a lot better about myself than I had before. So when he was doing all these things for me, it made me feel all the more special.
After a while, I started to realize some manipulative tendencies he had, but it was one of those relationships where I just felt stuck. I had already committed to him for several months at this point and I loved his family and I thought we loved each other. Soon, it became clear.
All of our business was being posted on Twitter and I was getting threatening text messages and phone calls if I wasn't doing exactly what he wanted or felt like I should be doing. If it wasn't for him it was from girls he knew. It was very stressful for me, but for whatever reason, I put up with bullies so I put up with all the bullshit he made me go through.
We were one of those couples that broke up time and time again and day after day would get back together, annoying all of our friends around us with our constant issues and everything else going on. I finally had enough after about 9 months and called it quits. I began dating one of my family friends friend who I was so excited for. He was someone I had known for years and had always had my eye on. He seemed so perfect.
We texted consistently at first and hung out, but then texts didn't come for days at a time and neither did seeing him. I've seen the article talking about "ghosting" and that is pretty much what was beginning to happen. We saw each other off and on until I found out I was being cheated on, which was not the first relationship I had been cheated on.
Since I had been through this before, the feeling of it never changes. It feels like someone has punched you in the stomach and you can't fight back. There were not enough words in the world to express how I felt that first month. Every part of me somehow felt guilty, like I had done something wrong. I always was blaming myself for the things that these guys had done, when in reality it was always their choices.
It was my senior year of high school and obviously, this was not the way I wanted it to begin. From then on I decided I wanted to work on myself and not date. Shortly after, I began dating my best friend. It's true what they say, the best relationships come when you least expect it. I was so happy beginning this relationship, being a senior, I was a cheerleader and he was a basketball player. We had so much fun together doing everything seniors do.
While I thought this was the perfect relationship, there were more skeletons in the closet then I had ever thought, but I learned a lot in this relationship. I learned to love unconditionally and love someone for who they are regardless of their past or the things they have done. While this wasn't an abusive relationship, it became that way.
Summer before freshmen year of college, I had no idea what I wanted to do and all I knew is I had to figure it out for myself, by myself. Of course, neither one of us were happy about this decision but I knew it was one I had to make for my own well-being. We thought we would be together forever. I was on the road to single life and working my way to a degree on my own and doing what I loved.
I transferred to WKU my spring semester of my freshmen year and wasn't really a big fan of it, but decided to return for my sophomore year. This time was different. I loved it. I made the best of friends and we began our relationship again. Life was going great for the both of us. We just knew this time that we were going to make it last and we would work through whatever came our way, but unfortunately, that was not the case. We broke up and for good this time and I was devastated when it came to an end. There were words and names being thrown around and this was something I never thought I would have to deal with from him.
After our break up, we were always best friends so we continued to be friends and just worked our way back to the way things were before the relationship. We talked on a regular basis and saw each other once or twice a month if I would come home for the entire year.
After everything you've been through with someone, you can't help but have a sliver of hope that someday things may work out. This whole year brought me a lot of pain. This was causing me constant emotional abuse. Guys don't see that. They don't understand how hard it is for a girl to love someone so much and then they just leave but continue to see you and talk to you like nothing ever happened.
While I'm not glad I went through the abusive relationships that I have, I know that I have learned a lot from them and for that I am thankful. They have shown me things I want in a man and a husband and things I definitely don't. I'm not going to lie, it's not easy to trust people now, but I am working on myself in order to love someone again. It's important to recognize the signs of abuse no matter what kind and get away. You can not stay trapped in a place where you are not happy.
