Sixteen. The time of your life, the time when you get the first taste of freedom and out on the big open road. Seventeen. You are all on your own. Usually you hear that teenagers are excited to drive and that they cannot wait to get their license. Unfortunately that is not the case for me. I am a nervous wreck when it comes to driving and it is so upsetting. My anxiety gets the best of me and gets into my head causing me to have an immense fear of getting behind the wheel. I take my road test in less than a month and I could not be any more nervous.

Driving. Just the word itself sends chills down my back. I’ve never been fond of the car for as long as I can remember. Driving with other people, besides my mom always made me uncomfortable. Even when I am a passenger in a car I am in sheer panic.

I have a fear of driving for many reasons. One reason is that I’m petrified of getting in an accident and injuring or killing someone. I don’t want to be the cause of it. Another reason is fear of judgment from other drivers because I’m not driving fast enough or stopping too long at a stop sign. I’m scared of getting hit and suffering an injury that will impact me for the rest of my life. I am afraid of other people on the road. I am sacred of the ones who are drunk driving or on the phones and distracted. I am always worrying about making other people mad on the road. I don’t want to mess up or do anything wrong.

Driving is like another world I have yet to fully discover. There are many times I kick myself because I just want to toss my fears out the window and learn to just let go and get over it.

Some people enjoy driving. They’ll drive to calm them down, but when I am behind the wheel I am always on edge and I don’t think it’ll ever be a way for me to calm down. I wish I wasn’t so scared. It ruins the fun of the teenage years.

If you know me, I am scared of everything and anything and it is quite sad. And if you don’t know me, well you just learned a fun fact :).

I’ve found a few tricks to help me handle many of my fears, now I need to find a way to deal with my fear of driving. I feel like it’ll be a long road, but I am hoping one day I will become more confident and have a lot more faith in myself than I do now.

One thing I have learned and am finally accepting is to not beat myself up over my anxieties of driving. My ability to drive does not in anyway define my level of independence or maturity. Getting a license and a car does not automatically make me a better person, so why should I worry? Not being able to do something because of a fear or anxiety does not define my character or who I am as a person. It is hard for me to accept this, but eventually I will get there. My fears do not define me.