This is my own personal story - the first time that I caught a glimpse of what it was like to care about someone, to feel that significant sensation of "firsts," like the moments go on forever and everything is infinite... when my mind acted like a broken record and couldn't stop going in circles over one thing he did that made me so incredibly happy. Honestly, it all feels like a blur right now, in a kaleidoscope of radiant colors, meshed in with adolescence and summer time. And I bet that sounds so silly, but to me, it was the single best thing in the world.

I was falling in love for the first time.

I was fifteen years old six years ago. I can safely say that I was very different from who I am now - and any of my close friends and family can detest to that. But that's normal, you know? We grow up and we morph into a smarter, more logical (but I am still a dreamer) and mature, responsible person. Still the same, but wiser. When I was fifteen, my awkward, super-skinny, incredibly dorky and cringe worthy self met my first love - in the freshman hallway of our high school. I don't exactly remember how we first started talking, but we did briefly know each other since seventh grade. I think he just started hanging out with my current friend group in ninth grade, and him and I just clicked. I guess he stood out to me one day and I thought, "This kid seems really cool. I think I'll start talking to him." There wasn't really much of an initial attraction and obviously not love at first sight (I don't believe in love at first sight, but that's another thing). I simply thought he seemed awesome, awkward like me, and someone I could really get along with. Looking back, he was very, very shy, and extremely sweet. This was during my "break out" phase, when I was beginning to accept myself as a person - though I had a long, longs ways to go. I see that clearly now today.

We started talking a lot, in school and outside of school. Well, sort of. We hadn't officially hung out yet, with us both being kind of weird (ha ha) and timid of sorts. One of the main reasons we started talking is all because of Diablo Cody. Yes, the woman who wrote the movie Juno back in 2007. It is basically all her fault that we fell in love in love in the first place. I know, I know. How? How did a famous writer and director do this? One day out of nowhere, I ran into him and he said, "Yo Yo Yiggity yo," to which I responded "Oh my god I love that movie!" Honestly. If anyone has seen the film, you'll know what I'm talking about. We both seemed to bond over such a good film, which branched out in discovering other things about each other - favorite bands, other favorite films, favorite songs, favorite books . . . basically anything in the artistic category. But Juno remained to be the staple of our genuine relationship, something that I don't think anyone else could understand. It was sentimental. Later on, after we had been dating for a good five months, we dressed up as Paulie Bleeker and Juno MacGuff for Halloween at school and people began to refer to us as "the cute Juno couple" or "the hipster couple." Please, no more cringing on the last hipster part. I can already feel it as I am writing this and nobody has read this yet.

After we began talking, we started doing this thing in the hallways of our high school that we both thought was the coolest thing ever. We would always give each other high fives whenever we saw each other, and then we thought it would be a totally rad idea if we made our high fives original and creative (insert loooooong sigh and eye rolling). We would then proceed to hop up and down and spin around in circles while giving each other high fives, while other angsty teenagers bolted around us in the halls. People stared, they rolled their eyes, and they chuckled at us. Teachers were mildly confused, which I do not blame them. But it didn't matter. Ah, yes. This was where our friendship loomed. We both accepted how strange we were and we embraced it. I think I started to realize that I liked him when I noticed how nervous I got when I knew I was going to run into him in between classes. I think one time, I hid in the bathroom or bolted the other way when I saw his tall, lanky silhouette. It's not like I didn't want to talk to him... but I had never liked anyone that much and my tiny fifteen year old self didn't know what to do.

Looking back, it's actually kind of sweet, and funny. I remember when we first started writing notes to each other and exchanged them in between class. I received this one note from him that I remember in particular. He had traced his giant hand onto the piece of notebook paper so that I could always give him a high five. Oh my god, this sounds so cheesy just looking back! I think he wrote "Honest To Blog High Five" or something like that on there (Juno reference). Everyone else thought it was so lame, but I loved it.

I can specifically remember the day that he asked me to be his girlfriend. It was May 5th, 2010. No, I don't remember what day of the week it was. Oh wait, I think it was a Thursday actually. Either way, it was Cinco de Mayo. How romantic! I did notice that all of my close friends were acting really strange that day, and I had no idea why. Mind you, I was pretty naive as it was (still am, unfortunately). I asked my friend at the time, Emily, what was going on during lunch. "We uh, we have a surprise for you", she said, with a smirk on her face as if she was hiding something major. And little did I know, she was. "You'll find out after school," she continued. The rest of the day felt like an eternity just because of that. I recall sitting in 8th period foundations class with my eyes plastered to the clock. I was so anxious because 1) I hated surprises (still do) and 2) I had a hunch that he was going to ask me out on a date.

Finally, the long awaited bell rang and I scrambled to my locker. Like usual, he would come to my locker after school, and we would sit on the floor for a while and just talk before leaving. Once he showed up, basically all of my friends surrounded us, with smiles on their faces. I was so confused! I looked at him, whose face was bright red, and scrunched my eyebrows together. "What is going on? And why is everyone acting so weird?" I motioned towards my girl friends who were noticeably surveillance the scene of him and I - smiles still on their faces and releasing multiple giggles in unison. Ugh, they were so obvious, looking back. He looked down at the ground, hands in pockets and nervously responded "Because, I... I was going to... ask you out."

I specifically remember the look on his face: the face of "I'm going to throw up." I was very much surprised to actually hear those words come out of a guy's mouth. Nobody had ever really asked me out, and I was beginning to think I was disgusting (but c'mon, I was only fifteen years old). I wanted to say yes, but back then, I wasn't as risky or rebellious and I almost always followed the rules. My mom's rules were that I couldn't date until I was I sixteen years old. So, awkwardly I told him that I would date him, but I wasn't allowed to. He seemed really bummed and I felt stupid and bad, and I told him I felt like giving him a hug. So, we hugged. Afterwards, my friends met up with me and asked how it went. I told them what happened, and that I instantly felt stupid and regretted not taking him up on dating anyway, despite the dating rule. We ran back after him so I could tell him that I wanted to and didn't care what my mom thought, but he was already gone.

So that night, thanks to social media, I sent him a message on Facebook saying something like "Hey, ignore what I said earlier. I would love to go out with you." And from there, it was cutesy, shy, timid stuff. Stuff of "Really!?! Cause I really really like you." It was so innocent, and the way we acted around each other was so refreshingly weird, but in a good way. We both never really had a real relationship before, so this was new to us - and we both genuinely liked each other - like a lot. I did, anyway. I remember going into school the next day, nervous as all hell to embark on my new relationship. I was almost practically clueless. Everyone seemed to know, and we felt all eyes on us - the new couple... totally expected and yet not.

We walked around the cafeteria until first period, unsure of how things really went. A couple things I recall was standing in the lunch line, and our friend at the time awkwardly made us hold hands. We didn't know what we were doing, even though we wanted to do just that! After one month of dating, he gave me a little ornament thing that he mom made with the words painted on "Whoa, Dream Big" (another Juno reference). Everyone thought it was silly and stupid but I thought it was absolutely adorable and sweet. One time when I was leaving school with a friend of mine, I hugged him goodbye and told him I would see him tomorrow. I really, really wanted him to kiss me - but I knew that with him, I would have to take the lead with all the "firsts" for us. He was shy, and he had never had his first kiss yet, unlike me who had lost her kissing virginity when I was fourteen. I pulled away, looked at him and kissed him on the cheek. His face turned bright red and he had the biggest, dorkiest smile on his face, and he practically stumbled out the door. I felt so accomplished. That night, I couldn't stop thinking about it, and my friend occasionally teased me about it the rest of the evening while at her house. I couldn't stop smiling, and it was just one kiss on the cheek. I really, really liked this kid.

The note passing continued, we gradually started holding hands in the hallways with ease, we hugged each other and met up in between classes, and we started opening up to each other. But we hadn't actually kissed yet. One day, while we were waiting for his mom to pick him up after school, we were sitting in the back of the school by the loading dock. We were talking, and I wanted him to kiss me. I don't know who initiated it exactly, but before I knew it, our lips were locked and afterwards, I looked up and just saw him towering over me (he was tall, by the way). He just stared at me, in awe. I smiled, bit my lip and walked away, meeting up with another close friend of mine. We giggled and I told her we kissed. Later that evening, he told me that he was speechless when his mom picked him up, and she laughed, asking if we kissed. He just grinned and well... couldn't stop grinning for that matter.

It was almost the end of freshman year, and we had accomplished hand holding, hugging, sometimes kissing, (we were still shy) and long, long conversations about basically anything and the weirdest things ever. But mostly about movies and music, like The Shins, Foster The People or Vampire Weekend. As summer loomed, I was weary of how our relationship would go. He was still pretty timid of a guy, and me being his first girlfriend or anything really, made it difficult to communicate. But after awhile, contacting each other via Facebook and the occasional phone call became a rarity, and I was so relieved. Being young, being fifteen for that matter, and falling hard for someone and still not sure what you're supposed to do, sucks. That's the time when you really over think things. And I did. Our first summer together consisted of the following:

1. Walking around town (like, a lot!).
2. Getting 75 cent slushies from the gas station. All the time.
3. Going to the outdoor pool with our friends.
4. Making out (we finally got to that point) in the forests... yes.
5. Hanging out at his house and cuddling on his couch.
6. Going to the dollar store, buying a bunch of junk food, and eating it by the train tracks.
7. Taking lots of pictures.
8. Inviting him to my family's lake house for the first time.
9. Celebrating our sixteenth birthdays. His was in July, and mine followed eleven days later in August.
10. Swapping mix CDs and homemade gifts. He made me a mix CD for my sixteenth birthday and wrote on it "Our Almost Infinite Playlist," referring to the film Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist.

11. Inviting him to my parent's wedding and slow dancing together.
12. When he told me that he loved me for the first time in his garage after hanging out one day. "You really are a part time lover and a full time friend," he said to me.

And those are just a few escapades and adventures we shared together our first summer as a couple. We definitely learned more about each other and I quickly fell head over heels for him. I spent hours in my room that summer, late at night, writing like crazy in journals, expressing what I felt. I stayed up and listened to songs that reminded me of him and my youthful heart soared to places it had never gone to before. I wasn't sure if I was in love with him, exactly but it felt like it. I never felt something so real and powerful. I was instantly sucked into that dreamy, sickeningly delicious, adolescent romance that was easily addicting. It was scary, but back then when you're young and things are new, it all seems never ending - it feels like forever. And in a way it was, with how everything blending in together so wonderfully. We were great together. He also transitioned into not only boyfriend, but my best friend. That summer of 2010 gave us the chance to grow and get to really know each other.

Years followed, and throughout high school, we had an off and on confusing and beautifully pain staking relationship that brought on a lot of firsts for the both of us. He was my first love, and my first heart ache, and that will never ever change. It's a good thing, and a bad thing. I know I shared quite a bit in this article, but that's okay. Names have been disclosed and it's something that I needed to share. It was a roller coaster, for sure, and we obtain a lot of history even though the seasons have and will continue to change. It just sticks. I know I don't regret seeing him in the freshman hallway six years ago, as corny as that sounds. I don't regret anything. We grew up and turned into slightly different people - or a lot. But it'll never fully go away. He will always have a piece of my heart and now, 21-years-old, I can be humble and look back at these memories... our first summer together and beyond up until the six year point and just smile.