I went to a convention over the weekend. In cosplay, I went to the dance they were hosting from 12:10 to 2 a.m. before I had to set up for a panel that was being run the next night. Four guys approached me in this span.
The first guy asked to take my picture, then wouldn’t leave me alone. He tried to make conversation in a concert hall that was blasting music and was not the place for talking. I turned away from him. I told him I enjoyed the music when he said it wasn’t good. I kept pulling my phone out and telling him that I was dating someone and that this person was messaging me (I’m not dating anyone). I told him I was waiting to meet up with friends. He didn’t leave until he dragged me out of the concert hall and taking a selfie that he insisted on.
The second guy was a 29-year-old who wanted to dance with me. He kept asking me where I was from and how old I was. I didn’t know how to make him leave so I just danced and waited for him to go. I was alone and I didn’t have a quick escape plan in case I offended any guys.
The third guy I saw come up to me out of the corner of my eye and immediately asked me how old I was and if I wanted to dance with this “really attractive” looking friend of his. Apparently, he had been flirting with 17-year-olds without knowing their age and was really shaken up about it. I didn’t know how to tell this guy “no” before he walked away thanking me.
The fourth guy was the one the third was talking about and I saw him coming out of my periphery too, knowing that he was coming to ask me to dance. I could smell the alcohol off him. He kept asking if I wanted to drink and kept forgetting what he had already told me. I eventually left, but not before he had asked where my hotel room was and if I wanted to meet up with him later, and then exchanged numbers.
I wasn’t hurt or attacked but I was uncomfortable. I didn’t want to go into a loud rave at a convention to make conversation. I wanted to dance and have fun. Nothing about my presence indicated that I wanted to be approached except that I was wearing a strapless dress. As a 20-year-old on the internet, I end up interacting with minors. It’s still very strange for me to remember I’m no longer a minor, but that doesn’t mean I don’t try to actively make sure I’m not overstepping boundaries and comfort limits of those younger than me. People who are this age should know better.
Lucas Werner is 37 years old. He should know better than to flirt with a 16-year-old service worker. Adults should know to leave children alone. There is nothing “ageist” about Starbucks banning a pedophile because their underage worker feels uncomfortable at her job. Nothing about what she was doing indicated she would want to be flirted with the man paying her.
Sorry if you’re “shaken up” by flirting with a bunch of girls you realize afterwards are minors, but when you’re out in public, or at a convention where people of all ages are going to be, maybe consider why they’re there. If it’s a loud room and people are singing and dancing, consider not approaching them for conversation. If they’re providing you a service, consider not hitting on them, especially when you’re over twice their age. If their paycheck relies heavily on your tips, don’t pressure them into flirting back to ensure they can make enough that week.
