"The most basic human desire is to feel like you belong. Fitting in is important" — Simon Sinek

I think I have a super power. I can fit in with any crowd given the right amount of time. I developed this skill during the magical period of time known as high school, and today I'm going to teach you how to do it yourself. Trust me, it'll be worth your time.

Step one: Analyze the Cargo

This step is the most difficult and often determines whether or not the group will accept you. Analyzing the new group is better done before you attempt to join the group, but can never be completed until you see the group interact amongst itself. The first thing to look for is a hierarchy. A hierarchy easily clarifies who you should be looking to please. The main ring leader is the person who determines the mood of the group and what activities are to be done. If you want to be included in the group you need that person's approval no matter the cost. If there is no hierarchy in the group, things get tricky. In that situation, you will need the approval of each individual in that group. Once you determine the structure of the group, look for the body language, and the speech pattern. Think of the body language of a group of Italian gangsters, and compare it to the body language for a group of nerds. The body language of gangsters is more comparable to that of a dominant oyster that struts its stuff and claims its oceanic turf. Everyone knows that you should never mess with oysters. Nerds, however, are seen as more fidgety and gecko-like. Gecko, unless they are selling you absurd insurance, have no spine or moral courage. The speech pattern of a group determines whether or not you say dude, brochacho, homie, uncle slama jama, vato, or a hoopla of different words. By being able to speak like them you can easily be like them, and if you can be like them you can think like them, and if you can think like them you can finish their sentences. Once you can finish a group mate's sentence you are in. Speaking like them is one thing, but also take time to see what's appropriate in a conversation. Don't start saying perverted jokes if you know they aren't going to like perverted jokes. I mean who do you think you are, sacha baron cohen? NOT EVEN CLOSE! Analysis is crucial to knowing how your target group will react when a new individual arrives. Use your analysis to mold yourself to who they would want you to be, and go for it.

Step Two: Confidence

The most important thing you need to have before you enter a new and different friend group is to have and overwhelmingly boisterous level of confidence. A person who doesn't believe in themselves can never achieve their goals of world domination: thus, they are easily disregarded as a weak individual that can't be apart of the group. If you ain't steppin' up homie, you ain't nuthin. Your level of confidence will translate to your level of comfortability with yourself and the individuals around you. Once you land confidence, the next step is a lot easier.

Step Three: Smile

Has anyone ever approached you with a closed face? (NOT ME 'CAUSE I'M COOL AS HECK) Let's be realistic, being in that situation makes you feel uncomfortable and a little judged...scratch that, a lotta judged. Now, amplify that effect tenfold because of the group context. Having a smile on your face is opening and inviting to whatever might happen next, which could be anything.

Step Four: LAY LOW AND DON'T MAKE SUDDEN MOVEMENTS

By this point you should be in. You know how to act in the group based on analysis, and your confidence is holding you up. Just lay low and adapt as the group adapts. You must be a leaf on the wind. I really don't know what that means, but you must be that leaf. There's no doubt in my mind that you will be a successful groupie If you follow this process. Maybe one day, you'll start a group of your own. A cooler group with poker and belly dancers. Until then, just lie low because you are in.