Friends; we all have them. Sometimes you may even belong to a large group of friends, and if you do, you may wonder where you stand as a member of that group. I myself am constantly told by my group of friends that I am the leader. They look up to me and rely on me for everything related to our group activities. To them I seem to have everything together. Lately I have been finding out what it is that makes me the leader of the group, and I've found things that I do in my day to day life that not only show them that I am capable of being there for them but also earns their complete trust in me.

When I came to college I started off pretty rocky, more than most. I had two friendships in a row during my first semester rise and fall, burning stronger than an inferno on their way down before crashing into a million pieces. Instead of breaking down emotionally and becoming a shell of a person, I reached out to those whom I viewed as acquaintances, because honestly, they were all I had left at that point. From there on they slowly helped me heal, each of them helping heal me in ways only they knew how to. Now I was back to where I started before I came to college. I had several decent friends, who each belonged to their own group, and I bounced around from group to group. I was tired of feeling like an outcast, so slowly but surely I started to realize something. My acquaintances all had something in common; they were all the odd man out from their friend groups and slowly were drifting away, soon to be loners. This was my opportunity to create a friend group my very own, with individuals who has something in common, and commonalities are always fantastic ways to join people together.

Slowly, one by one I got to know my acquaintances better, well mostly what made them work. What motivated them, why did they do and say things, and what kind of personality the person had (Myers Briggs type), or at least a sense of it. Once I had a sense of whom I was working with, I had to work on bringing everyone together. Slowly over time, a group was formed. They left their old ones behind (it was their decision to, they're still friends with those individuals just not as close) and joined what I had created. All of us are a mess individually, from different backgrounds with different pasts, astrological signs, heights etc. You name it, we don't have it in common. Sure, there are things that two out of the three (as there currently are three strong members) have in common but there seems to be nothing joining us all together, besides our trust for one another, and love that we have for each other.

Now that I have a group, I am constantly working on ways that I can help everyone achieve their individual goals and group goals as well as helping each of them become a better person,to the best of my abilities. As a group leader I constantly find myself doing the following:

Keeping everyone on the same page

Nothing ruins any sort of relationship like the lack of communication. Everyone in the group, including myself, has busy schedules, and they are only going to get busier as we advance in our college careers. Direct and indirect communication is key to maintaining cohesion in the group. In order to do so, I meet with each group member individually and get a sense of their schedules, seeing what will work with them and what won't.

Regular get-together and meetings help strengthen emotional bonds within the group.

Delegating

I want everyone to feel as if they belong, which is what all humans naturally crave. Nothing makes members feel more involved in the group than when they take ownership, so I use each individuals strengths when it comes to organizing events.

Leading by example

Out of the other ones, this one is the hardest to do. The group is constantly looking at me for inspiration, and what to do next. This not only puts a lot of stress on the leader, but it can make or break you. Most individuals either start micromanaging the group or cut the group so much slack, hoping that being easy going will make them more likable but it only makes the group fall apart. Good leaders lead by example, solicit ideas from everybody, listen carefully before acting, invest some time thinking a few steps ahead, and most importantly, trust their members. The trick is to treat everyone as if they weren't looking to you for directions.

After becoming the group leader, I've learned some things that have helped me maintain my status in the group.

I have learned how to:

-Make decisions that please everyone and benefit others.

-Say no

-Talk with confidence

-Convince people I mean what I say

-Have a good attitude

-Increase my patience level

-Stand up better for others

-Become a better listener

and most importantly

-get along with individuals on a one-on-one basis and group settings.

For those of you who are also the leader in your group, remember to focus on the group as individuals first, then as a whole, because you can't have a strong house if you don't have a great foundation. It can be stressful but just know that you're a natural born leader and can do it. It's all worth it, especially when you're lying in bed after a fantastic night out with your friends, reminiscing as to how you got to where you are in life.