1.) The Name Batman Is Taken
Of course it is though. The comics have been around forever, or at least since 1939. If you had plans of being like the Dark Knight, think again. You won’t ever be Batman 2.0. If you're going to become a vigilante, and a masked one at that, you’ll have to think up an original identity. One that strikes fear into your would-be enemies; or at least one that isn’t an embarrassment.
2.) Have The Funds Necessary To Back This Crazy Venture
I know I said you shouldn’t be Batman, and you shouldn’t be. Not entirely at least: if you're going to take vigilante-ing seriously, you'll need access to some serious Bruce Wayne type of cash. How else will you pay for all those cool "gadgets", like mace or a Taser? Plus, you’ll need the extra funds if you get caught by the police. This, if we’re honest, will most likely happen. You've got to pay for bail somehow.
3.) Be Prepared To Fail
Here’s some more brutal honesty for you: you’re not Batman. Oh, I said that already? Right, I did. Let’s just reiterate that fact. You are not trained to live the life of a masked vigilante. You have not dedicated your body and mind to strengthening yourself for the arduous tasks that being a vigilante entails. Can you throw a perfect punch? A kick? Can you run great lengths without tiring? Good. If you can, that’s awesome. But could you do that for years at a time? How about the rest of your life? Expect your body to fail you at some point, especially if you haven't extensively trained yourself. You are human after all. (If not, please see my other article, Five Things You Need To Know Before Becoming A Masked Vigilante For Aliens.) If you need further help, or are still determined, maybe the book Becoming Batman, by E. Paul Zehr is for you. Just don’t take the title literal. I already addressed that point. (Twice!)
4.) The Legal System Is Not On Your Side
That’s right. Who would have thought beating up strange people, regardless of their criminal status, was illegal? Turns out it is! Regardless if your cape crusading, (Or black cargo pants wearing, for those of you lacking a bit in the finances department.), midnight romps are with good intentions, being a vigilante is illegal, for the most part. Being a bounty hunter is a real thing, but it differs greatly from being a fake super-hero. A lot, mind you. Anyway, if the illegality of being a masked vigilante doesn’t deter you, think on this. Any and all evidence that you may find will be inadmissible in the court room. That’s right, any dirt you get on your "villain" will not serve you in the court of law. Darn legal system!
5.) Maybe You Can Make A Movie
If all of the above doesn’t drown your spirits, maybe you have a possible outcome that could actually benefit you. A movie deal! Superheroes are super-popular right now. If you try your hand at being a real-life masked vigilante, maybe instead of fighting crime, you could be fighting your way to the top of the box office. With the right amount of grit, and bad luck, you just might be a movie star: it’s happened before. In the end, leave the crime fighting for the police, and the super-heroes in your comic books.
