Sometimes I feel like my life didn't start until I moved out and became serious it as if one day I woke up and finally became me, the person I know and love today. But that day didn't happen until I learned one of the most crucial life lessons I needed.
I'm allowed to love myself.
In fact, it's encouraged.
Seems like an odd thing to understand, right? Of course, you're allowed to love yourself. Why wouldn't you? You're the one person you're stuck with 24/7, no matter where you go or what you do.
Wrong.
I hated myself. I hated the way I looked, the way I was. I loathed the fact that I was overweight. I hated the fact that the clothes I wanted to wear were never in my size. The clothes in my size were ugly, or something I didn't dare try to wear due to being too exposing or tighter than a baggy t-shirt. Because how dare a fat girl be pretty. Because of this scalding self-hatred, I was angry. I was bitter. I looked to others and did the one thing that you should never do.
I compared myself to them.
Sad thing is, this started in elementary school. I couldn't have been older than seven. I was teased in school (I even had someone tell me that I was too fat to be their friend and to let them know if I ever lost weight). But as the years wore on, this obsession only grew. I couldn't lose those stubborn, extra pounds for long. It always crept back until I accepted it as yet another flaw to Kate Kempton.
So what finally changed? What made that hate grow into love after 14 years? What finally sparked the transformation?
Someone was brave enough to show me how to spark it myself.
No one can do it for you, but they can light the way. I moved in with someone who showed me that you can love yourself and still look attractive, beautiful, or might I dare say stunning, regardless of your weight. I learned how transformative it was to wear the right kind of clothes. The ones I actually looked great in. This roommate taught me hair and makeup tricks, and soon, I wouldn't leave the house without making sure that I felt 100% comfortable with how I looked that day. They would tease me about how many times it took for me to change or get it right, but the important thing is that I found what did fit right, but more importantly, what felt right.
This roommate and I may not talk much anymore, but I still respect and appreciate the impact they had on my life. Now, there are so many other women I look up to. Beauty bloggers and stylists who show that it perfectly fine to rock those extra pounds. They've taught me that tt isn't so much about your weight, but about how healthy you are. How happy you are. If you are healthy and happy, who cares? It's your body, your say, your business. End of discussion.
When you allow yourself to be who you are, you grant that same power to others. It's been movements such as body positivity that have shaped me into who I am today. It's movements such as fat liberation (one that I just stumbled across today) that help me rock that black lipstick and shorter shorts.
Had you tried to get me to pose like that so casually, I would have panicked. Exposing my legs??? Being okay with my extra chub, let alone letting it be visible??? Without shape wear??? Ha, ha,ha, no. Just, no.
Jokes aside, I am only one case in millions. Movements such as body positivity and fat liberalism are crucial for women and men of all ages. Our bodies are only a part of who we are, but that part has so much to do with the way we view and love ourselves. In a world where we are constantly told that who we are is wrong in one way or another, we need all the positivity and self-love we can get. But first, start with yourself. Be the voice that inspires others, the fire that sparks a forest fire. In the blaze, you will be in awe of what one small spark can do.
