It’s the moments when you’re sitting on the floor in the middle of your house all alone with blood-shot & glazed eyes. It’s when the tears have been dried up and the panic attacks have subsided that you realize how truly lonely you are.
Because you haven’t texted anyone in the past 3 days, but no one has checked to make sure that you’re okay… or even just a simple, “hello, how are you?” You realize that you could be dead right now and no one would notice until your family comes home in two days. It’s those moments where you question your existence and neglect the faint feeling in the pit of your stomach telling you to stop thinking that way. You wonder why you keep trying so hard to show people that you are okay. You try to make them happy by faking your own happiness because your depressive state makes them feel uncomfortable and it all turns to them and how they feel. Never once did they ask you what is wrong or are you feeling okay… it’s times like this where you give up.
But it’s in those moments where you have to find the strength in yourself to be stronger and to not give up. Be your own hero and stop waiting around for someone to come along and help you. Because this day in age, everyone is looking out for themselves. I know that you have the strength in you to save yourself, you just have to believe in it too. Take it from someone who has been there, you are more than you think.
Continue living and show them that you are strong and you can do everything that you wanted to do. I know the pain hurts, trust me I know, I may not know the exact pain or situation that you are going through but I have been there. I have been there sitting on the floor crying and unable to catch a full breath and wishing that it would be my last. Planning on how I will go, whether it be by pills, rope or a knife. I’ve been there. But I am glad that I found the strength in me to live because my life is so much better and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
So wipe those tears darling, look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you are going to be strong. You are going to help others and make your life better. Get rid of those toxic people and get out of that toxic situation then thrive in the new you.
