“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind, don't matter, and those who matter, don't mind.” ― Bernard M. Baruch
I was a tomboy as a kid. I wore blue while my sister wore pink. I played Pokemon more than I did Barbies, liked collecting worms in the mud in the backyard and preferred jeans to dresses (still do).
As I'm sure is the case for many, middle school is a distant memory. We were all awkward, and I'm sure everyone prefers to keep those memories in the past. High school meant we were still struggling to find ourselves, but we now had the means to make feel people bad as they did. Only now, as a junior in college, do I feel like I'm finally confident in who I am and who I want to be.
One thing that always made me sick was peer pressure. With one swift, deliberate sentence, someone could make fun of something you enjoy and lead you to avoid that hobby for good. Between the ages of 12 and 20, we are so vulnerable to the vicious and condescending opinions of others. Not only do we need to teach ourselves and others how to not fall victim to these personality bullies, but we need to teach people not to differentiate from others simply because of their hobbies, their style or their personalities.
“There is nothing more beautiful than seeing a person being themselves. Imagine going through your day being unapologetically you.” ― Steve Maraboli
Molding yourself to other people's values is the quickest way to lose yourself; particularly if you're under the impression you are doing the right thing. Yet the constant battle to prove your worthiness to others simply only proves the opposite. You have forgotten the value of your individuality.
It's OK to let dreams overrule your logic. Sacrificing our own interests in order to appeal to others. Why would we want that? You're left with nothing but a habit of lying to yourself and everyone around you, and no one ends up truly satisfied.
This leads to a life of sacrificing ourselves to please others, living their dreams at the expense of our own.
Living your life in the spotlight of stereotypes, while enforcing the same ideals that everyone around you worships, results in your identity disappearing. Letting the mass appeal define you eliminates your individuality. None of it is really you, so let's stop.
Don't feel like you're not enough. You are enough; you are above and beyond if you are willing to stand up for yourself even in the slightest. Tell them passive conformity is not what makes us human. It is our unique talents and flaws, our diversity, that make us appealing.
We need to be true to ourselves, to not be afraid to speak up, or stand out or go out of the way for someone "because that's not the norm." Be proud of being different.
Yes, this is all easier said than done, I will admit. So, reflect for a moment: What did you want most as a kid? How does this now tie into your interests and passions? Often, these childhood dreams are the key to what our conscious selves were most passionate about before being infected by the opinions and disapproval of others.
To find true happiness, we must be true to ourselves, live our own dreams and be proud of what makes us unique instead of feeling the pressure to follow the crowd.
It’s easier said than done, I know. So try the following:
Reflect on what you wanted to do when you were a kid. Often this holds the key to what we held dear before we were influenced by what other people think.
Look at your heroes. What do you admire about them? Why? How do you think they got to where they are today? Something tells me they went above and beyond to gain your respect.
Think of the times you've been most proud of yourself. Why were you proud?
There is no definition of "normal;" however, we should never expect everyone to be alike. Rather than striving to be "normal," let us admire our diverse qualities. Let us be comfortable in our own bodies. Let us discover our own passions, and live respectfully of others'. Be brave enough to be yourself, and be proud of that fact.
Let go of who you think you should be, and be who you are. Everyone around you is also carefully beginning to show their true selves and are undoubtedly feeling as vulnerable as you. Being more accepting of others will come back to you as others will do the same.
Don't alter yourself to gain people's respect. Being the right person for you will attract the right people.
