I've written before about our American culture's propensity to live a fast-paced and hectic lifestyle, always surrounded by people. And while that isn't necessarily a bad thing, I feel like we've lost touch with ourselves. It seems to me like in some ways, we are almost scared to be alone, to listen to our own thoughts. But why? Why should we feel like we aren't as important as our social calendars?
We need to learn to prioritize ourselves.
Self-care, as I've said before, is really important, but sometimes that self-care needs to include time alone, sitting in the quiet and listening to our thoughts — the good, bad, and in between!
One of the scariest things I've ever done is going to a restaurant by myself and eat alone. It was mildly embarrassing, and I certainly felt uncomfortable; while I know it wasn't true, I felt like I could feel everyone's eyes on me, wondering if I had been stood up or where my lunch buddy was. But it's important that we do those types of things, as often as we can.
We need to get to know ourselves once again.
To become truly enlightened individuals, we have to listen to the secret thoughts in our hearts. We have to follow our minds without judgment as they wonder and watch what we daydream. If we think about our inner lives as separate and as new friends that we need to know, it will completely change our perspectives.
We will stop seeing our brains as unimportant, as a stranger or even as our nemesis.
So we need to start treating ourselves and giving ourselves credit for keeping it together most of the time. We need to start taking ourselves on dates and letting ourselves just sit and rest in the quiet so that we get to know our inner selves. You are important. And you matter. Which is why we need to cut our heads a break sometimes and start treating them with the same compassion with which we would treat an upset or exhausted friend.
Love yourself, because if you can't do that, it's impossible to love anyone else.
If you can do all that, you've got it made. But know that it does take some time. You and your relationship with yourself are a work in progress, so don't throw in the towel, even if it isn't working out.
In my own experiences, I've learned that we can only feel our best when we don't shy away from things that are upsetting us, but we address them, move on and understand how different situations impact us and what it will take for us to move on in a healthy and holistic way. It doesn't make you weak or hysterically emotional to have feelings; it makes you stronger because you know how to take care of yourself. It doesn't make you a hero to wait for the straw to break the camel's back in order to explode and have a mental breakdown. It makes you brave to check in on yourself, be kind to yourself and do what you can to make sure the inside matches the emotions you show on the outside.
