Ladies, take it from me. I've been the other woman and I have hated the other woman...but when it comes down to it, it's all a waste of time.

Why?

Because love isn't worth fighting over.

Well... it is.

It's just not worth fighting someone over. If it was really yours, there would be nothing to fight over.

Stop romanticizing the fight and uncertainty, because although it's normal to question your future with somebody... leading multiple people on is something a coward would do.

It's intelligent to question your relationship because if you are really meant to be with that person, questioning the relationship will only make it stronger.

But you know what almost never makes it stronger?

Exploring multiple people through your uncertainties, and giving multiple people the same validation, buttering them up until you decide who you want to pursue.

That will never make anyone feel they are safe.

When you question your future with someone, you should never question if you love them.

When you question your relationship, you are at a weak point in the relationship and considered vulnerable. If you can resist the temptation to give into lust or the excitement of starting something new... that's when you know someone is really important to you.

In every single one of my relationships, there has been a current woman or a woman from the past that lingers around.

And THAT was my biggest insecurity in relationships.

No girl wants to be second, or even first pick. We want to be the only pick. And with how high my standards are, I don't know why I made exceptions for men who weren't even that great, to begin with.

I was so stupid.

I competed with women... women I didn't even know.

I didn't even realize I was doing it.

I tried too hard to be everything for men who didn't deserve everything I had to give, and felt anger towards the women were in the same position as me.

Why?

Because I hadn't experienced a man who made me feel like the only one.

I experienced men who made me feel like his first pick... but never the only one.

And inside, it killed me.

So, because of that, I doubted myself and compared myself to women who were comparing themselves to me.

In the moment, I guess I never took the time to believe that maybe the other woman was doing the same thing and feeling everything I was feeling.

And the thing is, she was.

We were never rude or caddy to each other, but in the back of our minds, we both wished each other away.

Instead of blaming the man for his uncertainty, we blamed each other because we felt if the other woman didn't exist, things would be perfect.

But the thing is, it wouldn't have been.

I look back now and understand why it worked out the way it did.

I see women who belittle and break the women who came before or come after them. Women who blame the girl after their boyfriend's or husbands cheat on them.

The woman may be innocent in the situation, and the woman may have also acted maliciously, but the other woman is never worth being angry at.

Your partner is the one who built you up, so if you become broken... remember to put the blame on the right person.

Always remember, if you ever find yourself comparing yourself to another love interest of his... he is obviously not doing his job.

If his attention is elsewhere, reserve your attention for someone who only has eyes for you.