It’s so easy to feel as if you’re not enough.
“Why won't I—?”
“Why am I—?”
“Why aren’t I—?”
“Why did I—?”
The answer to these questions can be simplified to a one word response: Because.
1. It’s because you aren’t ready.
So, what if you couldn’t find a good enough reason to take a step outside of your comfort zone? That’s okay. An obstacle that is a molehill to one person is a mountain for another. Just because you weren’t ready to do something today doesn’t mean that you won’t be ready someday.
The real question to ask is this: “Would I be satisfied if I went my entire life without trying this thing?”
If the answer is yes, drop the matter (you can always revisit it at some other point in your life). If the answer is no, feel free to take baby steps to get there.
If you want to take a giant leap, make sure that you’re at least 99 percent committed. That 1 percent is there for the stupid ideas you decide to move forward with (so you can admit it was stupid later, if things go wrong) or to back out of a situation if things don’t feel right.
2. It’s because your quirks help define you.
How can someone find you in a crowd if you look and act like everyone else? Take comfort in knowing that no man is immune to this problem. Even the person who walks with the most confident demeanor is suppressing some form of uncertainty. A flaw that you find oh-so obvious may not even be noticeable to others. It usually takes an outsider’s perspective to see your best qualities (some of which might be things that you feel the most insecure about).
Embracing your quirks is the first step.
If you're a bad dancer: commit to it with confidence. If you have a laugh that could challenge God: don't supress it. Let it boom from the rafters and startle patrons sitting next to you at events. If you're a clutz, laugh it off. Or fall with style. Whatever works.
Oh yeah--be proud of your body. Embrace those curves and edges!
3. It’s because you aren’t doing yourself justice by playing pretend.
Surround yourself with people who make you feel both comfortable and capable. It can be easy to fall into a crowd who pressures you to act differently to gain respect and acceptance.
Why sacrifice your values for people who won’t take you as you are? Do you want to exhaust yourself by putting in so much effort into creating a false image? Would you ever be able to let your guard down around them?Know what you like and what you don't like, and stay true to your morals. There's no reason to not surround yourself with friends who are different than you, so long as they aren't trying to rip you away from your core beliefs.
Also, don't be afraid to branch out if you want to get involved with something different than what your friends want to do. Join a theatre group, or a web-design club or anything that makes you happy. Don't be feel afraid to do something geeky or dorky. There's no reason to waste the precious time that you have in college doing things you don't enjoy.
4. It’s because you aren’t perfect.
We all have a long trail of screw-ups that we wish we could take back. That’s just a part of life. It’s what makes us human. The best thing to do is to learn from it, laugh it off, or say that you’re sorry. Don’t cycle back into a routine that you’re not proud of when you can pave a new path to follow instead. Work towards bettering your situation. Don't let yourself get hung up on a mistake or accident that happened ages ago.
The truth is that we all feel like outsiders. We all try to hide some of the best parts of ourselves because we worry that we won’t be enough. We are our own worst critic--we are our own worst enemy.
It isn’t until we start saying because that we can silence the negative thoughts that tear us down devalue everything that we bring to the table. We are all equals, adjusting to a world where everything is scrutinized by a faceless, nameless people hiding behind a screen names. We can’t allow ourselves to hang onto negative comments made by someone dwelling in their own pit of insecurity.
Change has to start somewhere.
Spread compliments, spread confidence and know that you are not alone in feeling alone.
Above all, know that you are more than enough.