Wow, The Yankees Suck And Shohei Ohtani Is Really Good

Wow, The Yankees Suck And Shohei Ohtani Is Really Good

Five of the greatest storylines in the MLB thus far
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Do you hate the Yankees? Do you like Japanese baseball players who dominate the MLB? Were you aware that somebody is still paying Bartolo Colon to play baseball?

Yes? Then here's why the 2018 MLB Season has been a dream come true for you!

A Very Fast Man Made The New York Yankees Look Stupid

If you've ever seen just a single baseball game, you've more than likely seen somebody steal a base. But have you ever seen somebody steal three bases in a row? Have you ever seen somebody steal home?

Probably not!

Kevin Pillar accomplished both of those feats on March 31st, stealing second, third, and home against the Evil Empire.

I can only imagine the look on Steinbrenner's greedy face!


A Very Large Man Made The New York Yankees Look Stupid

I may be jumping the gun here, but Giancarlo Stanton is horrible.

Let me, rephrase that: Giancarlo Stanton was horrible. Now he's just bad. And soon, he will come out of his slump and start obliterating my beloved Red Sox, so I need to get my shots in while I can.

We're just 11 games into the season, and Stanton has already had two five-strikeout game. That's right: the man with the largest contract in all of baseball has acquired two golden sombreros thus far.

What a waste of money!


Ian Happ Made A Famous, Former Yankee Look Stupid

It's very rare that a trade in the MLB makes both sides look stupid, but the Yankees-Marlin blockbuster has done just that. Not only is Giancarlo Stanton quite obviously a bust, but the Marlins are horrible as well.

They're 3-8, have a roster that is a sorry excuse for a sorry excuse of an island of misfit toys, and Ian Happ did this to them on the very first pitch of the MLB season.

RIP Jetes.


A Very Large Foreign Man Made Everybody Look Stupid

I think it's safe to say that Shohei Ohtani is good at baseball.

Through 12 games, he boasts a .368/.400/.842 slash line with three homeruns and seven RBIs. That's pretty good for a rookie, especially somebody as hyped up as Ohtani.

But wait, there's more!

He also has 2-0 record on the mound, an ERA of 2.08, and he took a perfect game into the sixth inning last Sunday night.

Wait, what? Yeah. Enough said.


A Very Small, Dense Man Made That Same Very Large Foreign Man Look Stupid

We already know that Ohtani is a good baseball player, but did I mention that he is also very tall and muscular?

And did I also mention that Bartolo Colon is very short and not muscular? Well he is.

So imagine the shock on everyone's face when Bartolo Colon, the antithesis of the word athlete forced Ohtani, the definition of the word athlete, into a ground out last Tuesday.

What a crazy world we live in!


Cover Image Credit: Flickr

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When You Give A Girl A Dad

You give her everything
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They say that any male can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a dad. That dads are just the people that created the child, so to speak, but rather, dads raise their children to be the best they can be. Further, when you give a little girl a dad, you give her much more than a father; you give her the world in one man.


When you give a girl a dad, you give her a rock.

Life is tough, and life is constantly changing directions and route. In a world that's never not moving, a girl needs something stable. She needs something that won't let her be alone; someone that's going to be there when life is going great, and someone who is going to be there for her when life is everything but ideal. Dads don't give up on this daughters, they never will.


When you give a girl a dad, you give her a role model.

If we never had someone to look up to, we would never have someone to strive to be. When you give a little girl someone to look up to, you give her someone to be. We copy their mannerisms, we copy their habits, and we copy their work ethic. Little girls need someone to show them the world, so that they can create their own.


When you give a girl a dad, you give her the first boy she will ever love.

And I'm not really sure someone will ever be better than him either. He's the first guy to take your heart, and every person you love after him is just a comparison to his endless, unmatchable love. He shows you your worth, and he shows you what your should be treated like: a princess.


When you give a girl a dad, you give her someone to make proud.

After every softball game, soccer tournament, cheerleading competition, etc., you can find every little girl looking up to their dads for their approval. Later in life, they look to their dad with their grades, internships, and little accomplishments. Dads are the reason we try so hard to be the best we can be. Dads raised us to be the very best at whatever we chose to do, and they were there to support you through everything. They are the hardest critics, but they are always your biggest fans.


When you give a girl a dad, you give her a credit card.

It's completely true. Dads are the reason we have the things we have, thank the Lord. He's the best to shop with too, since he usually remains outside the store the entire time till he is summoned in to forge the bill. All seriousness, they always give their little girls more than they give themselves, and that's something we love so much about you.


When you give a girl a dad, you give her a shoulder to cry on.

When you fell down and cut yourself, your mom looked at you and told you to suck it up. But your dad, on the other hand, got down on the ground with you, and he let you cry. Then later on, when you made a mistake, or broke up with a boy, or just got sad, he was there to dry your tears and tell you everything was going to be okay, especially when you thought the world was crashing down. He will always be there to tell you everything is going to be okay, even when they don't know if everything is going to be okay. That's his job.


When you give a girl a dad, you give her a lifelong best friend.

My dad was my first best friend, and he will be my last. He's stood by me when times got tough, he carried me when I just couldn't do it anymore, and he yelled at me when I deserved it; but the one thing he has never done was give up on me. He will always be the first person I tell good news to, and the last person I ever want to disappoint. He's everything I could ever want in a best friend and more.


Dads are something out of a fairytale. They are your prince charming, your knight in shinny amour, and your fairy godfather. Dads are the reasons we are the people we are today; something that a million "thank you"' will never be enough for.

Cover Image Credit: tristen duhon

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Giannis Antetokounmpo And Christian Yelich Have Put Milwaukee Back On The Map

Two small market teams making sure the world knows who they are

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"MVP" is currently being chanted around the city of Milwaukee and the people of Milwaukee aren't just talking about one person. Giannis Antetokounmpo, a forward for the Milwaukee Bucks and Christian Yelich, an outfielder for the Milwaukee Brewers. Giannis is on the path to winning this year's NBA MVP and Yelich, who happened to win the NL MVP last year, is showing no doubts on potentially becoming this year's MVP as well.

Both the Bucks and the Brewers have struggled in the past few years. The Bucks finished their 2013-2014 season with a record of 15-67. On top of that, they have been playing in the BMO Harris Bradley Center for the past couple of decades. The Bradley Center was intentionally built for hockey and not basketball so attending games for the Bucks sometimes had you in the nosebleeds barely seeing what was going on on the court. The Bucks struggled after their 2013-2014 season with records of 41-41 (2014-2015) and 33-49 (2015-2016). Now, the Bucks have recently finished their regular season and moved to the playoffs. From 15-67 just five years ago, to now 60-22 which gave them the best record in the NBA, the number one seed in the East and home-court advantage, Giannis has proved himself as potentially one of the greatest players the NBA and the Bucks franchise will ever see.

The Bucks now have a new arena that opened this season, Fiserv Forum, which is built specifically for the Bucks (and Marquette) instead of hockey. Looking back on the Bucks in their previous years compared to now, the Bucks have sold out every single game this season. Something Milwaukee never thought they would see from being a small market team. From my experience, while working for the Bucks, you can see the difference in the crowd and feel their enthusiasm and excitement radiating off of the fans. And this is all thanks to Mr. Antetokounmpo who is making his mark here in Milwaukee. Giannis has won Eastern Conference Player of the Month for October/November, December, February and March/April and even earned his spot as Eastern Conference captain for the All-Star game this year. Giannis may be considered in his prime right now, but he is only 24-years-old which means he has plenty of time to only make himself better.

The Brewers had won the NL Central Divison back in 2011 but lost to the St. Louis Cardinals in the National League Championship Series. After that, they struggled a bit and haven't won the title since until last year in 2018. He brought the Brewers to the NLCS last season, but unfortunately, they lost to the Los Angeles Dodgers. Yelich had 36 home runs last season and already has eight (as of 4/16/19) this season. He happens to be a great right fielder as well. In last night's (4/15/19) game against the Cardinals, Yelich alone scored three home runs.

Miller Park has been filling up more and more each game of Brewers fans. Being a small market team like their cross-city friends, the Bucks, bringing home an MVP title as well as a division title, it makes everyone aware of their greatness and dedication. The season may have just started back up again, but there is no doubt, if Yelich and his teammates keep playing like they are right now, they will have another shot of making it to the World Series.

Giannis Antetokounmpo and Christian Yelich have brought and will continue to bring excitement and greatness to Milwaukee which is something the city hasn't seen in a while. This era of sports will surely be remembered for a long time by the people of Milwaukee and Wisconsin.

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