Wow, The Yankees Suck And Shohei Ohtani Is Really Good

Wow, The Yankees Suck And Shohei Ohtani Is Really Good

Five of the greatest storylines in the MLB thus far

Do you hate the Yankees? Do you like Japanese baseball players who dominate the MLB? Were you aware that somebody is still paying Bartolo Colon to play baseball?

Yes? Then here's why the 2018 MLB Season has been a dream come true for you!

A Very Fast Man Made The New York Yankees Look Stupid

If you've ever seen just a single baseball game, you've more than likely seen somebody steal a base. But have you ever seen somebody steal three bases in a row? Have you ever seen somebody steal home?

Probably not!

Kevin Pillar accomplished both of those feats on March 31st, stealing second, third, and home against the Evil Empire.

I can only imagine the look on Steinbrenner's greedy face!

A Very Large Man Made The New York Yankees Look Stupid

I may be jumping the gun here, but Giancarlo Stanton is horrible.

Let me, rephrase that: Giancarlo Stanton was horrible. Now he's just bad. And soon, he will come out of his slump and start obliterating my beloved Red Sox, so I need to get my shots in while I can.

We're just 11 games into the season, and Stanton has already had two five-strikeout game. That's right: the man with the largest contract in all of baseball has acquired two golden sombreros thus far.

What a waste of money!

Ian Happ Made A Famous, Former Yankee Look Stupid

It's very rare that a trade in the MLB makes both sides look stupid, but the Yankees-Marlin blockbuster has done just that. Not only is Giancarlo Stanton quite obviously a bust, but the Marlins are horrible as well.

They're 3-8, have a roster that is a sorry excuse for a sorry excuse of an island of misfit toys, and Ian Happ did this to them on the very first pitch of the MLB season.

RIP Jetes.

A Very Large Foreign Man Made Everybody Look Stupid

I think it's safe to say that Shohei Ohtani is good at baseball.

Through 12 games, he boasts a .368/.400/.842 slash line with three homeruns and seven RBIs. That's pretty good for a rookie, especially somebody as hyped up as Ohtani.

But wait, there's more!

He also has 2-0 record on the mound, an ERA of 2.08, and he took a perfect game into the sixth inning last Sunday night.

Wait, what? Yeah. Enough said.

A Very Small, Dense Man Made That Same Very Large Foreign Man Look Stupid

We already know that Ohtani is a good baseball player, but did I mention that he is also very tall and muscular?

And did I also mention that Bartolo Colon is very short and not muscular? Well he is.

So imagine the shock on everyone's face when Bartolo Colon, the antithesis of the word athlete forced Ohtani, the definition of the word athlete, into a ground out last Tuesday.

What a crazy world we live in!

Cover Image Credit: Flickr

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To The Coach Who Ruined The Game For Me

We can't blame you completely, but no one has ever stood up to you before.

I know you never gave it a second thought, the idea that you're the reason I and many others, never went any farther in our athletic careers.

I know you didn’t sincerely care about our mental health, as long as we were physically healthy and our bodies were working enough to play. It’s obvious your calling wasn’t coaching and you weren’t meant to work with young adults, some who look to you as a parent figure or a confidant.

I also know that if we were to express our concerns about the empty feeling we began to feel when we stepped onto the court, you wouldn’t have taken the conversation seriously because it wasn’t your problem.

I know we can't blame you completely, no one has ever stood up to you before. No one said anything when girls would spend their time in the locker room crying because of something that was said or when half the team considered quitting because it was just too much.

We can't get mad at the obvious favoritism because that’s how sports are played.

Politics plays a huge role and if you want playing time, you have to know who to befriend. We CAN get mad at the obvious mistreatment, the empty threats, the verbal abuse, “it's not what you say, its how you say it.”

We can get mad because a sport that we loved so deeply and had such passion for, was taken away from us single-handedly by an adult who does not care. I know a paycheck meant more to you than our wellbeing, and I know in a few years you probably won’t even remember who we are, but we will always remember.

We will remember how excited we used to get on game days and how passionate we were when we played. How we wanted to continue on with our athletic careers to the next level when playing was actually fun. We will also always remember the sly remarks, the obvious dislike from the one person who was supposed to support and encourage us.

We will always remember the day things began to change and our love for the game started to fade.

I hope that one day, for the sake of the young athletes who still have a passion for what they do, you change.

I hope those same athletes walk into practice excited for the day, to get better and improve, instead of walking in with anxiety and worrying about how much trouble they would get into that day. I hope those athletes play their game and don’t hold back when doing it, instead of playing safe, too afraid to get pulled and benched the rest of the season.

I hope they form an incredible bond with you, the kind of bond they tell their future children about, “That’s the coach who made a difference for me when I was growing up, she’s the reason I continued to play.”

I don’t blame you for everything that happened, we all made choices. I just hope that one day, you realize that what you're doing isn’t working. I hope you realize that before any more athletes get to the point of hating the game they once loved.

To the coach that ruined the game for me, I hope you change.

Cover Image Credit: Author's photo

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14 Baseball Players That Could Win The World Series Based On Looks Alone

Major points for looking the best in those baseball pants.


As baseball season comes to a close, people will miss getting to watch their favorite baseball players in high definition. I'm not the biggest baseball fan but I have watched it more often now since I am in a relationship with a baseball fan.

So, I've compiled a list of the hottest baseball players so that you can know who to watch next year even if you aren't a baseball fan.

1. Bryce Harper, Washington Nationals 


He may be signed to a different team soon but he definitely is the MVP for the Nationals.

2. Trea Turner, Washington Nationals 


He has a classic boy next door look.

3. Clayton Kershaw, LA Dodgers


Reason one: He's 6'4". Reason two: his contract is $32 million.

4. Mike Trout, LA Angels


All you have to do to fall in love is look at those muscles.

5. Amed Rosario, NY Mets


This shortstop from the Dominican Republic is hot and has some of the best stats in his position in baseball right now.

6. Kevin Kiermaier, Tampa Bay Rays


Anyone can get lost in those eyes.

7. Manny Machado, currently a free agent


Just look at that glowing/clear skin.

8. Yasiel Puig, LA Dodgers


This 27 year old is single, ladies.

9. Justin Verlander, Houston Astros


He's a whopping 6'5" but, unfortunately, he's already married to the even hotter Kate Upton.

10. Jose Iglesias, Detroit Tigers

Jose Iglesias


He's stolen a total of 46 bases, but he can steal my heart.

11. Nolan Arenado, Colorado Rockies


Just look at that smile.

12. David Price, Boston Red Sox


Reason one: he just won a world series. Reason two: He's the third highest paid player in baseball.

13. Jake Arrieta, Philadelphia Phillies


I'm not usually a fan of facial hair, but he can pull off a full beard better than anyone.

14. Dansby Swanson, Atlanta Braves


A baseball player or a male model, let me know with that hair I'd like to run my fingers through.

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