From someone who has been out of the dating scene for a while, these cringe-worthy stories reminded me exactly why I've been focusing on myself instead of dating. Seriously... you'll never believe some of these.
1. The Meyers-Briggs Communist
Tinder date was 45 minutes late, opened with her Myer-Briggs personality type, followed it up with saying it was the same one as hitler and stalin, BARELY restrained herself from ordering my food for me, and asked me to drive her to buy groceries after.— Chunkadiddly (@chunkadiddly) July 20, 2020
2. Spooky Mother Dearest
I went to his house for dinner. There was an angled full length mirror on the stairs. He explained that it was there so that his mother could see what was going on downstairs from her bed. He then explained that his mother had died six months ago.— Gutter Bookshop (@gutterbookshop) July 20, 2020
3. The Pepper Prankster
Guy hassles the waitress for fun, tells a ton of uncomfortable jokes, and then hides a /half-chewed pepper under the sugar caddy/ as a "prank" on the waitstaff. I cleaned it up before we left, he wasn't happy. He asks me to hike with him up to a cliff after. At night. Alone. Nope— Mushi (@mx_maenad) July 20, 2020
4. The Boss Complex
Finally worked up the courage to ask a co-worker out, went to the effort of planning a proper date, had a good night and even a bit of a kiss after and then she gave me the cold shoulder and ended up dating my boss who was old enough to be her Dad 👍— Dr. K (PhD) (@DrK_PhD) July 20, 2020
5. Man's Best Friend?
Went to a guys house the night before our date, he lived two hours away. His 16 year old daughter came home, met her after an hour. As he’s showing me his place, his dog had went to the bathroom on the floor , he proceeded to point it out and leave it there.— JaysonDell (@dell_jayson) July 20, 2020
6. The Priest's Parking Ticket
Met a guy for drinks who claimed to be a voodoo priest (I'm in New Orleans). He was already drunk. Said I had a dark soul. Screamed at me that I wouldn't pay his (nonexistent) parking ticket. Cried when I was left. Angrily texted the next day that I didn't offer him a ride home.— Joshua Langley 🗽 (@Nolameaux) July 19, 2020
7. The Resentful Proposal
He asked me out over coffee for a second time to propose to me, after telling me that he resents me for having grown up with (to his weird perception) more money and happiness than him.— Tantz Aerine is Using PPE (@TantzAerine) July 20, 2020
I was at the time wearing black for a death in the family, and had like 29 euro for 15 days.
8. The Clout Stabber
This girl kept going up to random guys & trying to get them to follow her on Instagram. We went to a bar to meet her friend but she didn’t have a license & couldn’t get in & her friend asked about her bf. She told me she was only gay online for clout. Then she tried to stab me 😒— tolkien understander 🏳️🌈 (@mauragalpsi) July 20, 2020
9. Little Pleather Monster
He wore ill fitting pleather pants. Within 10 minutes he started explaining Bÿork to me as if I didn’t know who she was and talked about Lady Gaga’s monster ball and how I wouldn’t get it cause I wasn’t a “artist” like him. Oh and he lost his wallet so I had to pay.— Zack (@1L_zahari) July 20, 2020
10. The Ponytail Puller
Went to a movie with a guy. Get a call from the babysitter & excuse myself to answer it. Come back, guy is obviously agitated, "what guy were you talking to?" "Huh? It was my babysitter?" He gives me the silent treatment. In the parking lot, he grabbed my ponytail out of anger.— Zomborita (@Zomborita) July 20, 2020
11. The Hungry Swiper
Guy invited me over. Barely spoke a word to me just sat next to me watchin TV. He was on Tinder the whole time. Disappears for 20 mins. Find him in kitchen. He cooked an entire meal for himself only & was finishing it. He joked “prly should have asked if u were hungry”. I left.— Colleen Danielle (@Colleenisbeast) July 20, 2020
12. Homemade Game Night
Went over to a girl's place for dinner and a movie. She cancelled dinner, then instead of watching a movie she insisted on playing a board game she made herself. For four hours. By then she was drunk and started crying about things that happened in highschool.— Mr.Aptronym - No Justice, No Peace. (@MrAptronym) July 20, 2020
13. Wine Happy
Went to a wine bar to find him smashed from a whole bottle already. He bought another, drank half, talked all about his ex, and then told me it was his birthday later that week and that I should “go home with him to give him his present.” 2 weeks later he went to rehab for meth— Jay • BLM (@lordthotimus) July 20, 2020
He lectured me about being vegetarian while tearing through a steak, but he was paying for the drinks, so I kept 'em coming. He turned up at my workplace two weeks later, after zero contact, with flowers, and I hid behind my desk.— Fay Janet Jackson (@fayjanetjackson) July 20, 2020
15. The Smoke Show
When he asked if I mind if he smoked, I said "not at all", to which he proceeds to take out a rock of crack/meth and his pipe.— Topher Larkin (@simplyLarkin) July 20, 2020
I pretended i had to take a phone call, said I'd be back as i headed to my car, and peeled out of his driveway
16. RomCom Gone Wrong
Had a date in college Freshman year. Took a girl out for coffee and a movie. Watched “50 First Dates”. In the middle of the movie she said she needed to go to the bathroom. Takes everything with her. Never came back and I never heard from her again.— Devin Martin (@devstar2003) July 20, 2020
17. The Height Difference
I was 6'4 at the time (now 6'2 due to injury). I went from York to Manchester to meet someone I'd been talking with a while online.— Annie Thorpe (@Annie_Writes_) July 21, 2020
He'd told me he was 6'2.
He was 5'3.
If he'd just told me that before, I wouldn't have cared. It was the blatant "She'll never notice".
18. The Violent Ghost Whisperer
Guy I previously went to HS with. He told me he could control ghosts with his mind and tried to convince me he killed a coyote with a rock on a field trip we were both on and told me I was dumb when I said I was there and it wasn't true— Anna "Fuck Donald Trump With a Pinecone" Mansager (@LionessGoddess) July 20, 2020
19. The Bragging Sugar Baby
Went a couple times, then she left for like 2 months, she came back and wanted to catch up but all she did was talk about all the things her sugar daddy was buying her. Also prior to this we kissed and she said "wow you're not good" and was shocked when I wouldn't do it again— Prof. Ships (@Prof_Ships) July 20, 2020
20. The Canadian Wannabe
Met the guy through an app, and we went to an ice cream shop. He was WAY more interested in talking to the cashier than to me, then went on about talking how bad he wanted to be canadian, didn't let me speak a word, and then left when he finished his ice cream— Gunter (@AtomicTurf) July 20, 2020
21. The Awkward Bar Scene
He took me to a gay bar, even tho he was straight. I told him I didn’t mind, I was bi.— Aoife “Fe” Baker 🦕🐯🧠🌈 (@vivaciousvandal) July 20, 2020
He told me he didn’t believe in bisexuality because if he was in prison it would take him “so long” to “do it.”
I told him I had to catch the last bus, circled the block, and stayed in the bar.
22. The History Buff's Opposite
Girl was basically xenophobic, talking about immigrants coming over to collect welfare, not learning US history, and not learning proper English. Turned out she didn't even know what was first, the US Rev or Civil War. I left cash and walked out.— Dacaagedout (@dacaagedout) July 21, 2020
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