There are mortal sins, there are venial sins, and then there is the sin of being an atheist. Society paints us as grotesque, the Babadook under the bed, lurking in the shadows to steal your soul. All souls, really—we’re equal opportunity soul eaters. The soul of your firstborn, the soul of your mother, the soul of your dog Wiggles—all make a healthy mid-afternoon snack.

But (and this may shock you) sometimes society gets carried away with stereotypes. So if we aren’t soul eating monsters, what the hell are atheists like?

Myth: Atheists always try to convert believers. Believe it or not, most atheists aren’t out to convert you and yours. We may have our gripes with religion—as any institutional world power will inevitably stir protest—but we aren’t out to overthrow Christians or topple your Christmas trees. We object to the mixing of church and state, but most of us won’t egg your church on mischief night. I will fight for your right to practice religious freedom, so long as your religious beliefs don’t interfere with my personal decisions.

Myth: Atheists believe there is no god. Atheists do not believe there is a god. And no, I’m not nit-picking language here. Belief in the nonexistent and a lack of belief are different. I personally oppose the notion of blind faith. For me, steadfast trust in a dogma not backed by empirical evidence opens a dangerous loophole for the abuse of that trust. Most atheists do not believe in scientology either. We do not worship science, but look instead to disprove our own hypothesis. Atheism is not a religion, and does not aspire to be one. And while atheists cannot prove that a god does not exist, it is on the theist to prove that one does.

Myth: There are no atheists in foxholes. This myth is offensive on a whole lot of levels. For the atheist, it suggests that she or he have never experienced true difficulties, and that they will beg forgiveness for their lack of belief as soon as the going gets tough. It’s also offensive to the faithful, as it suggests that religious devotion is based in fear. As if God were the irate partner in an abusive relationship who uses intimidation to frighten others into obedience. Another facet of this myth is that atheists find no solace after losing someone, for they don’t believe in an afterlife. Grief is brutal no matter your religious convictions. And while it may be helpful to picture a loved one frolicking with angels, they could also be roasting eternally with the devil, should religious scripture is be believed. Our fear of death rules so much of our lives. For the atheist, who accepts that death is inevitable and not a locked box that can be avoided in a Houdini-esque escape, live is extraordinarily meaningful. We can accept that our loved ones are at peace, even though we ourselves are far from it.

Myth: Atheists just hate God. My lack of faith is not akin to a teenager rebelling against her parents. I’m not getting back at any god for forsaking me or taking away a loved one. I can’t hate what I don’t believe in. I also don’t hate believers for their faith.

Myth: Atheists have no morality. I’m not perfect, that’s for sure, but atheists aren’t nearly the baby-eating heathens we’re portrayed as. We get a bad rap because we don’t have a Book of Rules telling us not to rape and murder. Yet the idea that the only thing preventing individuals from raping and murdering is the belief in a scripture that itself has been repeatedly revised, is horrifying to me. Moral superiority is not determined by a fear of eternal damnation. If anything, atheism correlates to better behavior on average, and more religious nations have higher rates of violent crime, teen pregnancy, early adult mortality, and even abortion.

The point isn’t to decide who is bad and who is good. Oversimplifications are just as harmful as these stereotypes. The fact is, even religious people generally experience a morality outside of religion. After all, most religious followers condemn zealots who commit crimes in the name of religion. For atheists, this moral code extends throughout their lives as they make the conscious decision that murder is bad, rape is a crime, and acts of religious zealotry are to be condemned.

Myth: Atheists are only atheists to sin. This goes along with the whole lack-of-morality-myth. Again, I sin as much as the next person. Atheists are by no means perfect. But I am not an atheist simply so I can escape the wrath of Judgment Day. If religious scripture holds, individuals will be judged regardless of their belief (or lack thereof). Atheism isn’t a green light to pillage and murder, and simply because I don’t feel guilt toward an omniscient supernatural being doesn’t mean that a disappointed look from my mother isn’t just as crippling. And yes, I admit it, I believe sex outside of marriage is biologically natural and perfectly acceptable, but that returns to my moral code. So long as both parties are willing and the sex is consensual, then I have no issue if a couple—gay or straight—want to knock boots before they take their wedding vows.

Atheists cannot run for political positions (at least not openly). We cannot be Boy Scouts or take seriously vows made to a Bible. We cannot be trusted more than a rapist. We have difficulty getting custody of our children. We’re not respected, and in many places, we’re barely tolerated.

But what I want everyone to understand is that while atheists don’t worship a god, we don’t worship the devil either. In fact, we don’t even believe in a devil. We don’t eat babies or souls and we don’t drink blood. I can recite prayer and bathe in holy water and do everything a good upstanding Christian American can do. Atheists aren’t the horrible heathens with which society loves to scare us. So please, give us as much of a chance as anyone else, and stop hating us more than Donald Trump.