How To Introduce Your Boyfriend To Your Family
Start writing a post
Swoon

I’ve Met My Boyfriend’s Family, But I’m Nervous To Introduce Him To Mine

"It will be the first one my family is meeting."

744
I’ve Met My Boyfriend’s Family, But I’m Nervous To Introduce Him To Mine

Each week, Swoonie B will give her advice on anonymous topics submitted by readers. Want to Ask Swoonie B something related to dating and relationships? Fill out this form here — it's anonymous.

First and foremost, it's important to note that everyone puts a different weight on what it means to meet someone's family and that's NORMAL. One-hundred percent normal — I can't stress this enough.

This can be for many different reasons. Maybe you don't want to introduce your significant other to your family too soon because you want to first be sure you're going to be with him for the long term. Perhaps your family dynamic is more dysfunctional than you'd like to share early on and you're not sure if your boyfriend will feel comfortable. Or maybe you just aren't as close with them as he is with his family and that makes you feel hesitant to open that part of your life to him.

Whatever the reason may be, you're certainly not alone, but you should pinpoint the "why."

Take a second and imagine what it would be like if the roles were reversed. In this hypothetical scenario, you would feel comfortable introducing your BF to your family, but he wouldn't want to introduce you to his. Because of this, you'd likely have a lot of questions, which might look something like this:

  • Why doesn't he want me to meet his family?
  • Is he embarrassed of me?
  • Would they disapprove of me?
  • Does he not see a future with me?

Now, jumping back into your actual situation, do you think he has these questions regarding your family and why you are less open to him meeting them?

In your submission, you wrote:

I explained to him that I wasn't ready for that, which he understood. But now he won't warn me before seeing family... We will be driving home from dinner and he will be like "oh my mom's house is nearby, let's quickly stop by." So I've gotten used to the "surprise" family interactions, however, I know my family will be a completely different interaction, especially because they live in a different state. When I introduce him, it will be a larger deal because we will have to take a trip to drive down and my parents will definitely be more skeptical and reserved around him than his family is around me.

Considering you've spoken to him about it and he said he understood, I wouldn't worry too much about it as I'm sure he's fine, but he still might have some questions that he's not asking because he's trying to be respectful. For this reason, once you pinpoint exactly why you are more reserved when it comes to introducing your partners to family, really take some time to explain it to him — I'm sure he'll appreciate it. Especially since, as you said, his views on it and the way he was raised are so different.

This will help him be patient and wait for whenever you are ready, making your relationship that much stronger.

💡 Then, when or if you are truly ready to introduce him to your family (and are not just doing it because you feel pressured), I'd suggest doing the following:

  1. Plan a weekend trip to visit a fun town or city somewhere near your hometown (maybe pick a spot that's a 30-45 minute drive from where your parents live)
  2. Get an Airbnb or hotel there, book some fun day activities, and make it a short vacation
  3. Since you'll conveniently be in the area, tell your family you have weekend plans in the area with [your boyfriend], but would love to stop by or grab lunch for everyone to meet
The good thing about this idea is it takes the pressure off spending two nights at your parents' house for the weekend. Instead, you have somewhere you can spend the night that's far enough away that it won't feel awkward, but also close enough that it's a convenient "we're in the area, let's meet the fam while we're here!"

If things get awkward and a few hours with the fam does the job, you can always say you have a dinner reservation or tickets for an activity and leave. Otherwise, you can spend as much time with them as you want. Either way, they'll all get to meet and it can be in as small of a dose as you feel comfortable with to start. That way, when they meet again in the future, it can be for a longer period of time since everyone will be a bit more comfortable. You could even stay the weekend in their home.

Baby steps are always promising! But whatever you decide to do, please know it's normal to be a bit unsure of what to expect (no matter how many times you've introduced someone to them in the past, but especially when it's the first).

You got this!

Do you or a friend have a question for Swoonie B? Fill out this form to ask. Yes, your responses will remain anonymous.

Follow Swoon on Instagram.

Report this Content
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

94437
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments