At some point in life, we've all come across "that girl". You know the one. The girl who gets dragged around on a leash by her god awful boyfriend and everyone on the planet can see how horrendous he is except her. It isn't always the case that the guy is a bad person overall. Most of the time, it is just in the field of relationships that a little bit of growing up could do him a whole lot of good. Ten years from now he may be #HusbandGoals, but currently, he is equivalent to the Titanic and "that girl" is too oblivious to even know to jump ship. The worst part about this is... "that girl" isn't just some random girl. She's your roommate. She's your coworker. She's your best friend. She may even be you. Lord knows, she has been me. Why is this such a problem? How does anyone allow themselves to be put in such a toxic relationship and choose to stay in it? It is simple really, they don't see how truly awful it is until they are on the other side.
So, here you go, ladies: A fool-proof way to identify toxic relationships.
1. You don't know where you stand.
Toxic relationships always keep you guessing. There are very high highs and very low lows. Sometimes you feel as though they treat you differently in public, or that they won't share any pictures of the two of you and you don't know why.
2. You're constantly making excuses for their behavior.
Whether it is to other people or to yourself, you are always trying to validate why it is okay that they basically suck. They always seem to be "too busy" or "too tired" or "already made plans" every time they are supposed to do something that you want to do for once.
3. Your friends and/or family don't like him.
Do I need to elaborate? Your friends and family were there for you before this boy and they will be there after. If the people that care about you don't like him, there is a huge chance that they see something that you are missing.
4. He constantly accuses you of lying or cheating.
*RED FLAG ALERT* When you hit this point in a relationship and you can't even have dinner with your family without him having a total come apart thinking that you're on some secret date with that guy that liked your Instagram post five weeks ago... (listen really close) He. Is. Cheating. On. You. Plain and simple. People assume that everyone acts the same way they do. His insecurity is stemming from his own actions.
5. He makes you feel crazy.
Any time you try to address a problem with him he totally flips it around and you leave thinking that everything was totally your fault. He never accepts any responsibility; therefore, nothing ever gets fixed. You know what is bothering you going into the conversation, but, by the time it is over, you are the one apologizing for getting mad that he hung out with his ex behind your back.
6. He threatens you with "breaking up."
If the threat of breaking up is constantly being dangled over your head, cut him off. In a relationship, that should be the final result when you know things just are not meant to be. If he is holding that over your head as a manipulation tactic then do not pass go, do not collect $200, just get out while you still can.
7. You know in the back of your mind that he is bad for you.
This is the one nobody really wants to admit. You know he is rude to you. You know that your self-confidence is shot. You even complain to your friends about how awful he is to you, yet you continue to let him treat you like dirt because of that small glimpse of hope that he will change for you. That one day he will wake up and actually fulfill all of those empty promises. Maybe it is because you see potential. Maybe it's because you know his past. No matter the reason, you cannot stay in a relationship because of how you think you could be potentially treated in the future. If he isn't treating you well RIGHT NOW. Do us all a favor, don't be "that girl". Realize that you deserve someone who sees your worth, not someone you have to convince.
