Tim, the seventeen year old son of Mr. and Mrs. Smith walked proudly down the stairs and into the family room at about eleven o'clock on Saturday Morning. He walked over to his parents who were sitting on the couch, His dad is reading the morning paper and his mom is watching Oprah that she tivo'd from the day before.
"Mom, Dad, may I have a minute?" Tim asked in a very official sounding voice. "I have a declaration."
"This should be interesting," replied Mrs. Smith as she paused Oprah and elbowed Mr. Smith implying that he had better put the paper down if he knew what was good for him.
"What would you like to declare, son?" Said Mr. Smith in a somewhat sarcastic, somewhat annoyed voice.
"Mom and Dad, I want you both to know that from this point forward, I am a Parentian." He spoke these words as if he were on stage speaking to thousands of glowing fans hanging on his every word. "From now, and until I take my last breath, I will be a devoted Parentian. I will serve and love my parents with all my heart. I will live to do whatever pleases my parents for as long as I shall live."
Mr. and Mrs. Smith just sat there, waiting for the punch line. They knew this was some sort of a ruse, or sick joke, so they just stared at him with widened eyes.
"I thought this would make you happy," said Tim. "I mean, look at me, I'm a Parentian!" He said this in a loud, declarative voice.
By now Mr. and Mrs. Smith realize this isn't a joke and are searching for what to say. Mr. Smith opens his paper back up and dismissively says, "So, you're a Parentian, that's good son."
After gently but firmly pushing the newspaper down, and staring at her husband with a look that screamed, "If you pick up that newspaper again, it will be last thing you ever do!" Then she smiled and looked lovingly at her son and said, "So, this means you're going to be the best son ever from now on, right?"
"That's right, Mom!" said Tim happily as he started to go back to his room.
"Wait son," said Mr. Smith, "I have a couple of questions for you."
"Ask me anything, Dad." Said Tim, happy and relaxed.
Mr. Smith, as he leaned back in the couch to a more comfortable position said, "Did you clean your room yesterday like we asked you to?"
Tim said, "No, I understand that you and mom really want me to do it, it just doesn't seem like the time is right. I know that I need to do it, and that you want me to do it right away, I'm just still waiting for the right moment to start."
"Hmm," said Mr. Smith, "That's interesting. Did you get the note that your mom wrote and left for you on the counter?"
"Yeah," said Tim.
"Did you see that it said you were allowed to go with some friends to the mall right after you cleaned your room, but that you needed to be home by eleven?" Said Mr. Smith.
"Yeah, I got it dad," said Tim not understanding why he was being asked these questions.
"Well, if you got it, why didn't you get home until 11:30?" Said Mr. Smith sternly.
"At first when I saw your note, I thought you were saying that you wanted me home at eleven, but after sharing the note with my friends we came to realize that this was too narrow an interpretation of what you were saying," said Tim calmly.
"Too Narrow?" Said Mrs. Smith while wrinkling her forehead trying to be understanding.
"Well, yeah, it was too narrow because we hadn't taken everything into consideration," said Tim, still very calm and matter of fact.
"What else did you need to consider? We said be home at eleven." Said Mr. Smith very annoyed but trying to hide it.
"Ok, well first of all you didn't specify whether it was eleven pm, or eleven am. Then I remembered that it is always eleven pm somewhere in the world, which allowed me to come to an obvious conclusion." Said Tim very proud of what he was about to reveal.
Mr. Smith, while sighing said, "What was your obvious conclusion, son?"
"My conclusion was that your note was trying to tell me that your love for me has no time limit, and that it didn't matter when I came home, as long as I did come home." Tim spoke these words with his head up and chest out.
"Well, let me tell you my conclusion," said Mr. Smith, very angrily but keeping himself under control. "My conclusion is that I told you to clean your room and you haven't done it. I also told you to be home by eleven PM, OUR TIME, and you didn't do it, so you're grounded for two weeks."
Mr. Smith calmed himself and said, "Son, just because you call yourself a Parentian, and claim that you are obedient, doesn't mean that you are, and when you disobey, there are consequences."
"You guys are so unfair!" Tim yelled as he ran up to his room.
