It’s a difficult task to come up with such an elite list of why my dad is so great, but after picking my brain for the past few days, here’s what I came up with.
1. He taught me to be myself.
In a world where girls are constantly criticized for being either too girly, or not girly enough, he lets me be me without asking questions. The best part is, he actually thinks I’m cool.
2. He thinks I’m pretty, or at least half decent looking, even when I look like a potato.
Some days he doesn’t even care if he’s seen with me when I’m not wearing makeup.
3. His boy advice is bulletproof.
The classic “All boys are dumb and we don’t know a damn thing when it comes to women,” always makes me feel better. When in doubt, he just calls me pretty and lets me cry. Or threatens to kill said boy and burn the body because he actually knows the exact temperature that it takes for the human body to completely disintegrate. We know that he’s too nice to do it, but it’s the thought that counts.
4. I can watch sports with him without the whole “girls can’t watch sports” stigma being applied.
It’s like we feed off of each other’s anger when it comes to the Red Wings just doing typical Red Wings things.
5. He tries to teach me garage stuff, even when he knows it’s nearly impossible.
Quiz me on tool names and I’d get a 100%. Test my ability to use any of them and I’d fail epically. I’ve learned that physical pain is the only thing that stops him from doing this. One time I dropped an overhead light on his face and cut his forehead open. I’ve noticed a significant decline in the times he asked me to help him anymore since that incident.
6. His old-man strength is the real deal.
This phenomenon isn’t unheard of, but he puts it to good use more than the average dad. I’m not talking the occasional couch lift when something falls underneath it. I’m talking about carrying my entire bedroom set up and down three flights of stairs on a 90-degree day with minimal grunts and complaining. This is a superpower in itself.
7. He get’s excited about the smallest stuff.
We got him an oscillating saw for his birthday (which is arguably the most confusing things we’ve ever got him) and it was like the best day of his life. Also, whenever my mom makes chocolate cake with caramel frosting, he just completely loses it.
8. My friends like him more than they like me.
Now this is a questionable reason why he’s so great, but he must be if I’m competing for my friends’ attention with my dad. I’m not even kidding when I say he had a fan club when I was in high school.
9. We have the same taste in music.
Put on some John Fogerty or some Boston and let’s get this 2011 pearl white Buick Enclave bumpin’.
10. He’s ridiculously funny in the strangest way.
He claims that every time he gets into the Buick (see above) that he ages 5 years and gets arthritis. I can’t contest that.
11. He has a cool mustache.
All cool dads have legendary mustaches. Foo Manchu style.
12. He loves his family.
My mom and brother are probably a god-send to him considering that he has to put up with me. Yet he still does it.
So here’s to all of the dads out there on Father’s Day. Thanks for everything you do.
