Social anxiety sucks. Anxiety in general sucks. I do enjoy, however, knowing that I’m not the only one who cringes when their phone rings and their mom isn’t around to answer it. Don’t get me wrong, this is far from a pity party. I almost like to think of it as a celebration of the togetherness I share with my fellow humans that think public speaking is similar to an ancient Chinese torture device. And, if you happen to find yourself relating to one or two, or maybe even all, of these situations, then welcome to the club my friend ... Welcome, but we probably won’t talk to you.

1. Over-analyzing every, and I mean EVERY, conversation you’ve had that day

Classmate: I love the color of your shirt!

Me: Oh, thank you.

Me to me three hours later: Should I have said thank you or me too?

2. Utilizing your creativity to avoid interactions

One of my best friends and I have developed the optimal strategy to avoid having to take the elevator with other people. If we see a large group of people ahead of us approaching the elevator, we will take the extra time to go check our mail until it looks like the coast is clear and we can stand the full three feet apart on opposite sides of the elevator. Alternatively, you might even take the stairs up to the fifth floor just in case of unavoidable contact.

3. Performing Tasks At Odd Hours to Avoid Human Contact

Best time to go to the gym: Either 6:30 am or 11:00 pm

Best time for lunch: 11:00 am or 2:00 pm

Best time for dinner: 4:30 pm or 7:00 pm

Summation: Avoid people at all costs

4. Knowing the characters of your favorite books better than your classmates

*Any given individual walks into my chemistry class*

Me to neighbor: Have they always been in our class?

5. Deep investment in pre-conversation rehearsal

Me to Me: Why can’t we go?

Me: Because we haven’t been feeling well.

Me to Me: And where will we be if anyone asks?

Me: In our room resting up and doing homework.

Me to Me: And where will we actually be?

Me: In our room watching Netflix and hoping no one checks in on us.

6. The great fear of the person that you don’t really know, but you sort of know

Do you wave? Do you make eye contact? Probably best if you see them first to make sure they haven’t seen you, and either look very interested in your phone or taken aback by the beauty of the nature in the direction opposite to this person.

7. The struggle when participation is part of your class grade

The only time I’m likely to raise my hand in this class is if I definitely know the answer to the question, and I definitely don’t know the answer to any of the other questions.

8. Trying to work ahead, but not too far ahead

The absence of stress that is having your homework done early is hard to beat. It can only be out-competed by turning in an assignment so early that your professor uses your submission as an example for the class. That, my dear friend, is attention that no one wants or needs.

9. Your phone is more important as a safety net than a method of communication

What if your elevator avoidance strategies aren’t enough? What if you get stuck in a crowded line at Starbucks? Chances are, if I’m on my phone, it’s because I’m using it to avoid communication rather than initiate it.

10. All of your friends are reading this list with you and cringing at the accuracy in their lives as well

Face it, birds of a feather flock together. I like those people who like to go out on Saturday nights and enjoy the company of other people. What I tend to like even more, however, is the warmth of other individuals within close proximity who are deep into their books and currently over-thinking every interaction that happened to them that day as well.