Anxiety is so undermined in the world we live in today. Most people see it as simply worrying or just stressing over a college exam, a job interview, a first date. In reality, anxiety is a daily feeling of suffocating and irrational thinking and fear. It is a disorder. It is not something that is should be taken lightly or self-diagnosed from everyday stress. Anxiety, just as other mental illnesses, should not be glorified. Let's break it down from the perspective of someone who actually suffers from anxiety and panic attacks, someone who can break on into a childlike state of fear.
Imagine waking up to a beautiful day, a fresh start, surrounded by so many opportunities. You go about your morning, feeling good about yourself and the day ahead so far. Then, suddenly, your heart begins to race. The palms of your hands begin to become sweaty. A feeling of dread hits you. You're not sure why, but a feeling of absolute dread has consumed you. You start to feel like you're maybe three feet tall, packing in so much confusion. As if you've been trapped into running water, the waves crashing over you, pushing you down further and further. You're slowly drowning. Imagine feeling as though your mouth has been stitched closed and you're being buried alive, you try to scream, but all that is heard is complete and utter silence.
Anxiety shows no mercy. It makes you question everything, make your mind your own personal hell. You doubt your relationships, friendships if people actually want you around. The smallest inconvenience can seem like the end of the world, each mistake you make makes you feel so worthless, absolutely repulsing. Anxiety makes you rethink every little comment you have ever made, overanalyzing what others have said, wondering what you could have done differently. You always could've done better, you could've done more. People will compare their stress to your anxiety disorder and say they know how you feel. You feel so frustrated because, in reality, they don't know the half of it, and then you feel guilty because you feel like your anxiety is never validated. Stop beating yourself up and letting others belittle your disorder. Your emotions are valid. Anxiety is an illness, a chronic disability, a vindictive bully that is mentally and physically exhausting.
People will tell you, "Just stop worrying," "Chill out," "Calm down," "Why are you freaking out?" Some of them don't mean to sound harsh or ignorant, I know. Sometimes, it's a loved one who means well. I understand that more than they know. It's hard to understand because I don't know why my anxiety is so crippling. It's a chemical imbalance. Anxiety is absolutely terrifying when you're alone, and the best way to cope is to surround yourself with those who know you well, even if they don't completely understand. Laughter can be the best therapy and medication. Our society is very closed minded when it comes to mental illness and health awareness, but helping open conversation is a start to ending the stigma. Use your voice. Don't be afraid to speak up. You just may help someone else that will tell someone else and starts a ripple effect. Let's do this together.
