There are probably millions of people who suffer from anxiety, right? A lot of them don’t even know it’s a thing. However, for those few who are fortunate enough to not have to deal with it, it might be hard to understand. Some people think we’re faking our symptoms, or looking for attention, when really we’re fighting ourselves to let go. So, here it is, what I like to call a one plus one on what anxiety is, minus the scientific terms.

Anxiety is having a conversation with someone about anything and feeling awkward about it afterwards.

Example:

Other person: “How are you today?”

You: “You don’t even want to know.”

Anxiety: “Why didn’t you just say ‘okay’? You sound mean.”

As a matter of fact, anxiety is remembering that conversation you had with that stranger in the park ten years ago—whose face you don’t even remember but their words are burned in your brain—and thinking of what you should have said, even though you may have only said a few simple words.

Anxiety is not being able to go to sleep at night because your mind has convinced you that you have a thousand things to do the next day when all you have to do is clean up the house. And you might just live in an average-sized apartment. It’s not that many rooms. But to your anxiety, you might as well be cleaning your dream mansion from top to bottom...with a toothbrush.

Anxiety is walking past a group of people laughing, and feeling like in some way they’re laughing at you.

Anxiety is always forcing yourself to be prepared in the case other people don’t do what they promised. I legit ruined the surprise baby shower my mother-in-law had planned because no one was talking about throwing me one. My husband was upset, it was a whole thing. I felt bad.

Anxiety is suddenly feeling upset about something and you have no idea what that something is. Much worse is the fact that you can’t explain why you’re upset because you yourself don’t know, and other people don’t understand it.

Anxiety is your heart pounding out of your chest, your breathing is erratic, making it harder to fill your lungs in response to being overwhelmed by little things that anxiety makes big things. Your anxiety is attacking you.

Anxiety is being afraid that something with no teeth is going to bite you just because it looks unfamiliar. In other words, you’re afraid of things that you know are of no threat just because they might be a little different than what you’re used to.

Anxiety is avoiding going to an event that you really want to go to, especially when it’s for somebody you love, but not going because there will be other people there that you don’t know. But if it were just you and that one person you love, you’d be boring with nothing to say.

Anxiety is avoiding necessary phone calls because doing so requires you to be too social.

If you’ve read this far, you know now how ridiculous anxiety can be. Anxiety can keep you from having your dream wedding because everything is so overwhelming that you can’t bring it all together. There’s going to be too many people who are going to be watching you and you don’t like that kind of attention because you care too much that they’re probably judging you.

Anxiety is real. And it sucks. But you can help someone going through this by supporting what they have no control over. Don’t judge. Just love.