Both my sister and I have anxiety. She has social anxiety and I have generalized anxiety that sometimes comes in the form of a panic attack. Two of my best friends have anxiety, too. It is much more common than people think. Most of the time depression and anxiety go hand in hand, but luckily, I have not had to experience that first hand.
Mental health has been a topic of discussion recently, and for most of us, this acknowledgment that yes, we have something abnormal going on with us, but that does mean we are broken. It means we need help, but we are the same as everyone else and deserve the help we need as well as the love everyone else gets.
The love may be different than with others without anxiety, but we still deserve it, crave it, and need it.
My sister has progressively gotten better. I have always been involved in theatre, and never expected her to be comfortable enough in that realm with her anxiety but she blossomed when she took theatre freshman year. I was so proud of her getting up in front of people and performing her heart out. She met a lot of people and didn't seem overwhelmed. Little things still get under her skin, such as ordering food, talking on the phone, or asking for something extra in a restaurant. I personally don't know what she uses to combat her anxiety since I don't live at home anymore, but it seems as if whatever she uses, works.
Last semester, my anxiety was at an all-time high. I am not a perfect student, but I do pride myself on being an honors student. I was taking biology, and science is not my strong suit although I do love it. I got very stressed and began having panic attacks when it seemed I would make no better than a 'C.' I called my mom crying because I was so scared she would be disappointed in me although I tried my hardest.
That was the stupidest thought that could have crossed my mind. She loves me and knew I was trying my hardest in that class, and that college is hard. My anxiety took over and completely controlled that situation to where I full-heartedly believed she would love me less because I was going to get a 'C' in a class that doesn't even matter for my major.
My anxiety comes out mostly when I get stressed of academics or get into tiny spats with Austin, my fiance. My anxiety is constantly telling me that the problems in my relationships are my fault because I'm not good enough, and never will be. Whenever we have our "fights," I almost always end up having to tell myself to breathe because my chest gets tight and I'm afraid I screwed up and he'll leave, although he's never once said any of these things.
Although it constantly tells me otherwise, I know I deserve the love I get from my family and friends.
Venting to my friend Jaelyn does wonders for me - it elevates my stress, if only a little bit. Having a fiance who fully understands what I'm going through because he's been with me for so long really helps me and makes me want to strive to get better. I know my anxiety will never go away, but the least I can do is use tools available to me to let some of the symptoms subside.
I tried "Mindfulness" for a while and have the book "I am here now" created by The Mindfulness Project, and it really helped when I used it. It comes with an online resource with a guided meditation that helps. "Mindfulness" is this new way of combating anxiety but only living in the now and trying to put any and all thoughts of the future and the past behind you (I did not even mean to make that pun).
It is really hard, especially for people with anxiety like me whose minds are constantly racing, but it forces you to let your worries cease. Aromatherapy has also helped me a little, and I hope to try other things. Yoga, the relaxation yoga - not work out yoga - also helps me meditate.
I will never tell others with anxiety what to do to combat it because, for every person who has it, their journeys are different, but please feel welcome to check out what has helped me and not to be afraid to ask for help. Know that you deserve love and that you are good enough. If no one else gives you the love you deserve because "you're difficult to love," know that you have someone in your corner right here, writing this article for you.
