Disclaimer: I am writing this from my own experiences and complications with anxiety. Anxiety has affected me for a lot of my life and is something that I still struggle with today. I'm writing to address and share the struggles and issues I have as someone with anxiety and the common perceptions of anxiety. Thank you.
Anxiety is real. Anxiety is a real pain that manifests inside. Anxiety is another mental disorder people don't seem to take seriously because it's not something a person could outright see.
When I'm going through an episode of anxiety, I get this stinging in my heart that you usually feel when your feelings are hurt. I get quiet and my whole demeanor changes. I read and analyze into people's nonverbal behavior more closely. I suddenly believe and remind myself that "Nobody likes me, and I'm another waste of space and time." I all of the sudden feel trapped inside a box. Anxiety for me is a constant feeling of judgment and life becomes this exam where your professor is watching every move you make. I can't help but feel this way sometimes but I also blame myself because society makes it seem like it's not real and that it's all in my head. It is all in my head but it doesn't mean my struggle does not exist.
I'm always afraid to discuss this with my friends and even my family because I don't want their perceptions of me to change. I don't want to repel these people from me so I always feel the need to internalize this pain. I don't want to be seen as fragile or "offbeat." I'm also not sure if they're educated on the subject either and I'm really never in the mood to argue with someone about what I'm going through.
An irritating "trend" that I've noticed is when people seem to throw around these mental issues like they're nothing almost as if they're making them into jokes or "memes" to entertain their followers. Anxiety is so much harder to deal with and should be taken more seriously. Mental disorders are no joke and I just find it frustrating when people use them for their "quirky art student" aesthetic.
Anxiety is not fun or cute. It's really annoying and depressing. Anxiety to me as well as millions of other people isn't just butterflies in your stomach for an exam, but it's an issue we have to live with in our lives with or without treatment for it. People do need to realize that anxiety isn't something to brush off but it's truly mental and emotional suffering.
