Anxiety And Panic Disorder: End The Stigma | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

Anxiety And Panic Disorder: End The Stigma

Your voice deserves to be heard.

84
Anxiety And Panic Disorder: End The Stigma
Pexels

It’s 3 a.m. and I can’t sleep. My heart is skipping beats, and as an unsettling sensation rushes through my entire body, I feel like I can’t breathe. I begin to breathe faster and faster. I am gasping for air, and feel the life leaving my body. I burst out into tears, and run to the bathroom.

I fall down to my knees and scream for help. Is someone there—is there anyone? What’s happening to me? Am I breathing? I feel like I am dying. I lay on the bathroom floor for hours and cry myself to sleep. I wake up on the cold hard ground, realizing what had happened. Another panic attack.

I have been having panic attacks ever since I was a little girl. Of course, I had no clue what it was at that point. But it was so bad at the time, that I would have an attack every single night. I remember checking my pulse to make sure my heart was still beating.

My parents didn’t know what to do with me. I would run into their room every night in a hot sweat, swearing that I wasn’t able to breath. Most nights I would lie awake until 4 or 5 in the morning, just counting the cars on the highway until the sun rose. It was extremely exhausting, but my parents swore I would grow out of it, that it was just a little phase. They were right in many ways. As I grew up, I had less and less attacks. At last, I finally found peace when I was halfway through middle school. I finally felt normal. My panic attacks had gone away.

It wasn’t until I went away to college at the age of 18 that my panic attacks would find their way back to me. But this time around, my panic attacks were out for revenge—because now, my panic attacks were happening during the day and during my classes, not just at night before I fell asleep. They would happen during exams, during dinner, during hangouts with my friends, during meetings with advisors, these panic attacks had no mercy. It came to the point where these panic attacks were absolutely debilitating.

I tried to explain to my professors; I tried to make them understand what was happening to me and why I was missing classes. But none of them believed me. I remember emailing a professor, telling him I wouldn’t be able to attend class because I was having severe anxiety problems. He emailed me back right away, and told me that I needed to get over myself. That I need to grow up and act like an adult. He then ended the email by saying that my “anxiety problems” were probably fake, and that he wasn’t going to count this as an excused absence.

That was the last time I tried being honest with a professor about my mental illnesses. I was embarrassed and I felt like no one understood me. I felt like I had no one to go to, no one to talk to. So for a while, I let my panic attacks define me, and consume me. I would plan my days around them. I hated myself because of this. I desperately wanted to feel normal—I was so sick of feeling like I was losing my mind. I was so sick of rushing out of classes halfway through, and of having to stay in at night because I couldn’t walk in the dark alone, I was so sick of feeling like I was trapped. So I made a decision that I thought was right.

I decided to come clean to everyone about my panic disorder because I am done with hiding. I am telling the world about my mental illness because I am so done with pretending like I don’t have problems just to satisfy society. The truth is, we all have problems. We are all fucked up. And I refuse to apologize for having a mental illness. I am not sorry if it made anyone I told uncomfortable. I was no longer going to sit around and be silence.I will not be told to “grow up” or to “get over it.” Anxiety and panic disorder is traumatic, and it's real. It’s an actual illness that is affecting the lives of over 40 million people in the United States alone, including myself. I am still troubled with panic attacks, but I no longer let my disorder define me.

To anyone who is affected by anxiety and panic disorder, do not be silenced. Your voice deserves to be heard.

http://www.adaa.org/about-adaa/press-room/facts-statistics

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Entertainment

College Life: As Told By Bob's Burgers

If there's anyone who understand the struggles of college, it's the Belcher family

205
Bob's Burgers

College is a time of gaining independence, exploring new things, and copious amounts of Netflix. If you're like me, you often find yourself laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of the situations you find yourself in. Here are ten times Bob's Burgers accurately captured college life.

1. What you're pretty sure your upstairs neighbors do at 3am every morning.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Why Theater Kids Are the Greatest People Ever

Supportive and spontaneous human beings are the best.

154
Theater Kids

Throughout school, the theater department has always been my go-to place with go-to people when I need advice, a dance party, or just someone to listen to me vent.

You never know what's going to happen when you're dealing with theatre or what kind of characters you'll encounter. We have too much fun doing anything! One time in my senior year acting class, we spent an entire class period watching Bob's Burgers, and it was the greatest class period ever.

Keep Reading...Show less
Gilmore Girls
Hypable

In honor of Mother’s Day, I have been thinking of all the things my mom does for my family and me. Although I couldn’t write nearly all of them, here are a few things that moms do for us.

They find that shirt that’s right in front of you, but just you can’t seem to find.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

10 Reasons To Thank Your Best Friend

Take the time to thank that one friend in your life you will never let go of.

7007
Thank You on wooden blocks

1. Thank you for being the one I can always count on to be honest.

A true friend will tell you if the shirt is ugly, or at least ask to borrow it and "accidentally" burn it.

2. Thank you for accepting me for who I am.

A best friend will love you regardless of the stale french fries you left on the floor of your car, or when you had lice in 8th grade and no one wanted to talk to you.

Keep Reading...Show less
sick student
StableDiffusion

Everybody gets sick once in a while, but getting sick while in college is the absolute worst. You're away from home and your mom who can take care of you and all you really want to do is just be in your own bed. You feel like you will have never-ending classwork to catch up on if you miss class, so you end up going sick and then it just takes longer to get better. Being sick in college is really tough and definitely not a fun experience. Here are the 15 stages that everyone ends up going through when they are sick at college.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments