For hopeless romantics like myself who long for the perfect guy, with the perfect bouquet of flowers, who remembers your favorite foods and sweeps you off you your feet, the modern dating world just plain sucks. We rely on technology to provide us with the laughter we seek, the worldly confirmation we desire, and access to instant messaging that we as millennials have completely forgotten how to interact in person, often missing out on potential dating opportunities. But, how can we as the rising generation change that new norm and rekindle the classic love-story generations before knew all too well?
Step 1: Stop looking for love on dating apps and start searching with your eyes.
Tinder, Bumble, Cupid, you name it, many of us have tried it. It's the painful process of swiping left or right on someone based on a picture and praying they show up looking the same. We know the pain of going on that random date and showing up dazzling like a diamond only for him to be dressed in basketball shorts and a t-shirt, shooting our romance expectations right down.
Instead, simply look around you. Many of us attend courses that have two-hundred plus students, are a part of group chats that contain hundreds of students, and actively go to local campus eateries on a daily. So instead of taking that time to use your devices, say "Hey" to a random stranger, literally anyone near you. Learn to be vocal and start a conversation. Invite that person to hang out with you or to get to know you better. See where things go from there.
Many people like myself admire older couples, we seek lifelong relationships, the perfect marriages without putting in half the effort our parents did to attract each other. So make the change within and push yourself to be more social in person – it makes a big difference. And alway's remember that true emotions can be seen in person better than it can through a screen!
Step 2: If this hasn't been stressed enough in movies... BE ROMANTIC!
This step, ladies, does not only apply to men, but it applies to us as well. We all have expectations for the relationships we enter. We each show up with a long list of desires and commands without realizing that the true way to a relationship is a compromise, surprise, and realizing that just being with someone isn't always enough.
Gentlemen, take your ladies out on dates, and yes even though McDonald's counts sometimes, there are still way better places out there that you can still have a great time at while on a budget. Bring her flowers or if she's not into those but rather into video games, plan a night in which you play her favorite games. And, ladies we cannot always get what we want, but sometimes throwing in a little kind act here and there can get us exactly what we want. So whether it's taking him to his favorite shoe store, watching football together, or whipping up a batch of cupcakes for him to stuff his face with, create little surprises to keep the romance growing, and the relationship booming.
Step 3: Last but not least, create a game plan.
I am personally tired of meeting people who have no set life goals. No one expects you to have a permanent plan but make sure to have an idea of what you're looking for. Far too often I have witness people enter relationships unequally yoked. One partner wants marriage in the end and the other is content with never jumping the broom. So why wait until the end to let that person know what you want out of it?
Take my advice and be honest about what you're looking for! Even if it's the first date, be honest and upfront. Not only will it not waste your time, but it will allow you to find someone else that wants the same things out of life that you do. So stop waiting for that other person to finally give in to your hopes, and start choosing from the start the full package that most suits you.
