We met at the perfect time. We were both in dysfunctional relationships. This wasn't the only thing we had in common, though. We were both very sensitive people. We both loved to go out dancing, We were both creative in our own ways, and we both had our own unique look....Me with my Goth style and you with your vintage thrift shop gorgeous fashionista style. We got a lot of attention. We loved to get ready to go out and dress up in our unique outfits. We were never risqué...sexy maybe but never risqué. I never thought that awful monster called jealousy would cross our path.
It was our very first fight. You were always complaining that Tom didn't want to do anything, and I think you were a little jealous that Jimmy always wanted to take me out. Jimmy was renting Tom's apartment temporarily. Tom was very proud of all of the work he put into fixing it up and Jimmy had helped him with some of the work. It was a very unique apartment and Tom liked to hang out there. Jimmy and I were excited because it was our first real date. We got all dressed up and Tom was just helping us enjoy the moment by taking pictures of us. I was very proud of the way we looked together. I was very happy in my relationship. You never really told me how you felt but you told people at work, and I found out from them. I confronted you about it but no matter what I said, you refused to see my side and stopped speaking to me anyway.
You judged me for enjoying that moment, but yet you spent an entire year and a half with someone who you felt the same way about and I never once judged you for it or got mad at you for it. You could've said anything to me. I would have talked with you about what was bothering you until it was resolved. I valued your friendship, but whenever you started dating someone, you would start to pull away again. You would change plans on me last minute and not include me in plans. I got tired of it and I confronted you. You just stopped speaking to me, because it was easier than talking about it. It seemed like every time I would experience things before you would get mad and you would never even try to understand, but when you were experiencing the same things, years later, I was always supportive of you. But you never appreciated that. You made assumptions about my feelings that were based on the "me" you knew years ago. You never even considered the fact that I had changed.
Two years after one of our "not speaking to each other" periods, you approached me at work and all was forgiven. At that moment I thought we would never part ways again. I thought we had finally come to an understanding and realized how much we valued our friendship, but a few years later, you turned and walked away with no explanation. You got married and had a child, and even though I went everywhere with you and your son and I always did what you wanted to do, you assumed that I was going to judge you on the serious life decision you were making at the time. You never even gave me a chance to react to your decision. You just shut me out completely.
I should have known by the fact that you could never actually talk to me in any real way whenever you had a conflict with me , that our friendship would not last. It has been years now and I will never forgive you now because I did nothing to deserve being shut out of your life so abruptly, but I will never forget you.
