New Year's already? Thank God, given how 2016 has gone. So, since I talked about tradition just last week, join me in singing that timeless Robert Burns classic, “Auld Lang Syne.”
Should auld aquaintance be forgot, make some new ones and move on...
I am fully aware, of course, that this is not how the song goes. In fact, being part Scottish, I actually understand most of the actual lyrics. I'm also full of trivia about ol' Bobby Burns that's useless pretty much anywhere outside of being a contestant on Jeopardy. However, ever since my senior English class in high school, in which a classmate regaled us with this version, I've been quite fond of it. At first, purely because it's silly and I'm down with that. But then life took it to A Place.
As life tends to do.
We're often very reluctant to let go of relationships in our lives, even the toxic ones. In some cases, especially the toxic ones. Whether it's because of sentimentality, obligation, or some amalgam of the two, it's so easy to justify being treated like crap for the sake of maintaining a connection with someone. I've been there, more times than I care to admit. I still struggle with it. Heck, I agonize over deleting Facebook friends I've never actually met and don't even remember why we friended each other. I'm working on it.
One thing I've come to realize, though, is how freeing it is when you cut ties with someone who's dragging you down. It hurts initially. Sometimes for a long time. But one day, you suddenly realize you're not walking on eggshells to avoid saying or doing the wrong thing, and you breathe a sigh of relief. And, while you will still occasionally feel a twinge when you remember times that were good, you know you're much better off overall. And that's the reality – even in the most terrible relationships, you're likely to have some good times. It's okay to remember those fondly. You can miss someone who was awful to you. But there will come a day when the sense of freedom greatly outweighs the longing for what the relationship could have and even should have been.
This isn't to say that cutting someone off is ever easy, and it's not my goal to address that process here. Nor am I advocating immediately rushing out and getting rid of everyone who annoys you. But if someone pops into your head as you read this, at least consider what's going on there. I can only speak from my own experiences, of course, on this, but I know that sometimes the best wake-up calls come when you least expect them. You're reading an article on gaslighting, and boom – it hits you that you're not alone. And that's what I think community articles do best – assure people that they're not alone. I can't properly describe the relief I feel every time I see some quirk of mine described perfectly by a stranger. Other people understand this. It's a thing. I'm not alone.
The new year is a time for resolutions. Mostly, those are promises we make to ourselves that we may or may not have any intention of keeping. Hold tight to the people who lift you up. If you can, put some distance between you and those who drag you down. Be good to yourself.
And you are never too old sing silly versions of established classics.* We all need a laugh sometimes.
Disclaimer: the author assumes no responsibility should you teach a small child such alternate lyrics and they sing them at a school concert.* Please use your own discretion.
Disclaimer the Second: For the record, yes, that was me, and yes, it was my younger brother's Christmas concert.
