We've all been through it. We're just minding our own business, doing our routine by the dumbbell rack, when all of a sudden,
"UUUUAAAAAA!"
What the?
"UUUUUUUAAAAAA!"
Is a gorilla giving birth?
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"
Oh, I see. Arnold Schwarzenjuicer is over there doing shrugs and thinks that somehow, by screaming bloody murder, his gains will get any better. Which they won't. But that leads me to the first person we all hate.
The Howler Monkey
Look bro, if you're going to your max and pressing or squatting hundreds and hundreds of pounds, be our guest and scream. It takes ton of power and energy to do what you do. Props, man.
But if you're jacked and curling like 20 pounds, you don't need to scream or grunt super loud. If you can't do it, you can't do it. You're not impressing anybody, and you're annoying everyone around you.
The Hog
These are the people that use more than one bench, especially when the gym's busy, to do something simple like dips, instead of using the actual dip machine. Or they'll move all the benches around to open a spot for an ab workout or some stupid activity with a Bosu Ball instead of moving off to the side somewhere. These people generally don't put any of the benches back and take up valuable space that could have been used by someone who is actually trying to work out.
The Mirror Model
They think they're being discrete, but they aren't. It's one thing to take a quick glance, but when they're standing there with their arm at an awkward angle rubbing their triceps for seemingly minutes at a time, we clearly see what they're doing.
The Super Super Setter
They're not doing a simple super set. They're not going back and forth between two or maybe three exercises. They're going from hammer curls to leg extensions to side laterals to tricep extensions to pull downs. They're doing the most random exercises for like 1 or 2 sets and usually never get over like 30 pounds on anything. They're probably going to end up using like half of the machines in the gym. And they wonder why they're not in shape.
The Social Media Butterfly
Going on your phone to change your music? Cool. Going on your phone to tweet about your #gainz or #SwollPatrol? Get off the bench or machine. These people are the worst especially when the gym is busy. You're trying to go to the gym to actually get in shape, and this person is trying to get more likes on their latest selfie.
Excuse me buddy, I hate to bother you as I see you're working really hard there, but would you mind talking to your bros about your Chipotle date somewhere else so I can actually work out?
The Unwelcome "Trainer"
"Hey, you're doing pretty good there. But if you just hold your hands out like half an inch wider, your results will be way better." Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know I hired you to be my personal trainer. If it looks like I'm about to throw my back out on the squat rack, yeah, your advice would be appreciated. But when I'm doing something simple like pull downs, your "help" really won't make much of a difference.
The Swimmer
I don't mean an actual swimmer. I mean the person who looks like they just got out of the pool because they are sweating so much- and not a good amount of sweat, but a lot of sweat. These people generally don't wipe up their sweat after they're done with something, and they usually don't wear deodorant.
The Parrot
This person seems to think that the gym is a coffee shop or a bar. A quick "How are you?" and "What are you working today?" is fine, but any more than that and you lose focus on your actual workout. Some people like to bring up a whole conversation about the recent football game, or the party over the weekend and it's like yeah, it was cool, but I came here to workout. If I wanted to talk, I'd be the person who just goes to the gym to walk on the treadmill for 20 minutes.
The Guillotine
This is the person that drops their weights when they're done. It's understandable to drop your weights when you're maybe dead lifting or shrugging a lot, but when you're at the row machine? Come on. More than half the time, these kinds of people aren't even maxing themselves out. They'll go to the lateral pull-down machine and set it at a weight that probably the average person in the gym could do. When they're done doing 10 reps, they let it go and BAMMM! The little old lady next to them just had a heart attack.
This is a visual of what it sounds like.
The Jay Clueless
I'm sure that takes tons of balance and core strength, but this guy is one twitch or person accidentally tripping over them away from serious injury. Tons of people think they're doing something impressive, but they either aren't actually gaining anything from the exercise or are in danger of severely hurting themselves.
I don't even know what this guy is trying to accomplish. No spotter too? This is all I have to say to that, bro.
There you have it. These are the people we all hate to encounter in the gym. Did I miss anyone? Add it to the comments below!
And by god. This might be one of the funniest pranks I've ever seen. Watch it if you have a couple of minutes. I might die of laughter if I saw someone like this in the gym.
