Asking yourself this question is one of the biggest steps you can take when you truly have had enough and is part A of the equation to ultimately finding happiness. The even more challenging piece to this equation, part B, is answering it.
Sometimes asking yourself a simple four word question can not be fulfilled with such a simple answer. We are constantly battling ourselves with coming up with this answer as part of us is ready to let go and usually, an even larger part is not ready to let go. For example, how do you tell someone that is so toxic to you, but someone you care about so much, that it is over? Simple. You Don't!
Yes there are some superhero's that have the unbelievable ability to immediately cut ties with this person, and to those I salute you. But for the rest of the unconditionally loving people, saying goodbye is not a one-time thing and does not happen overnight. You must make the choice and decision on your own that you are going to move on. It won't happen automatically as it takes many attempts, many tears, a few bottles of wine and some good friends to help in the process of picking yourself up and finally saying that it is over and no one can force you into it. It takes time. As Mandy Hale says, "you can love them, forgive them, want good things for them... but still move on without them." By no means is it easy to detach yourself from people that you have built such relationships with full of memories and love, but it is necessary in order to answer your question. And if you think about how you could love the wrong person so much, imagine how much you could love the right person. You can always have a place for this person in your heart, but when answering this question, you will no longer have a place for them in your life. And remember to heal a wound, you have to stop touching it.
"I guess the moment when everything changed was when I realized I deserved so much better."
When this "moment" happens, that becomes the beginning of anything you want. When you can finally answer this question and have your moment that your answer is that "I" deserve so much better, you will feel the necessary selfish (in a good way) statement, "and now I'll do what's best for me" start to arise. And in time, this statement will turn into a mentality. With this mentality, your days will get brighter. And once you realize that you deserve better, letting go will have been the best decision you have ever made. Remember to look for something positive in each day, even if some days you have to look a little harder. It will not be easy to move on to doing what is best for you and some days will be easier than others, as everything in life is. But the key to this equation is to close some doors because they no longer lead somewhere.
