When I was growing up I would watch and read romantic comedies wondering when I’d get my own Ryan Reynolds or Ryan Gosling. My friends and I would play wedding at recess and talk about what colors we’d have our bridesmaids wear. Our society puts such an emphases on going to school, getting a job, getting married, and having kids. What about traveling? What about finding yourself? When do you have time to grow as a person? Are we only here to get married and have babies?
I moved into college single and surprisingly was not ready to mingle. I didn’t want a boyfriend or any sort of commitment. I had just gotten out of a year and a half relationship (and a great one at that) and wanted to enjoy the many firsts of college. Most of the girls on my floor have boyfriends and the ones who don’t, want one. I was in the same place all throughout high school, wondering when I’d find “the one.” Over the summer I realized that there’s more to my life than a boyfriend. I’m a deeply religious person, a writer, a pre-mature traveler, a sister, and a daughter. I have so many roles other than a girlfriend and I love them.
Instead of wondering when we’re getting married or who might be in the wedding party, we should be asking how we can positively grow as individuals and help others. Reader, I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to leave this earth knowing I was so focused on finding a guy that I missed out on my purpose of being on this planet. I don’t want myself, or anyone else looking back realizing they were looking for romantic love when they really needed self love. I don’t want to feel like I’m being held back or restricted.
Life is so short and we have to make the best out of it. Dating is great and if you’re completely happy, congrats. I’m just not there yet and that should be okay. The girls who have been single longer than others shouldn’t be assumed to be “not lovable” or “crazy,” but independent and have so much self love that any other love doesn’t compare. Self love is the best type of love and for a long time, I didn’t have that. To fill that gap in my heart, I tried to fill it with the wrong types of “love” only to find that no one knows me better than myself and be thankful that I am who I am.
It shouldn’t be considered selfish to want to put time and energy in yourself. People shouldn’t assume others are self absorbed if they don’t want to invest something with someone else. If anything, that’s being considerate. I know that as a freshman in college I need to fail and learn in order to become a better person. I need to give myself love and allow myself to grow. Being with someone would only put strain in the relationship and prevent me from making the mistakes I’m meant to stumble upon. Not only that, there’s only a limited time in our lives where the only thing we have to worry about is ourselves. For those of us who want to get married one day, that’s years of nurturing a relationship and taking care of someone else. This point in our lives should be cherished, celebrated, and embraced.
Embrace who you are and all that you're meant to be, because no one will ever be like you. The “you’ll never find someone” and “you’re not pretty enough” should not be relieved by some guy, but by yourself. We are so unique and beautiful and life is so precious that we must celebrate our own existence and know that we are enough for the world itself. Whoever we’re looking for, whatever love we crave, and whatever companionship we want with some guy is minuscule compared to the experiences, mistakes, and revelations life has in store.
