To my fellow women in STEM,
Well, well, well, what have we here? A budding physician, an inspiring programmer or perhaps even a future astrophysicist? A Mathematics major, a Chemistry minor or a member of the Technology club?
Ever since you were a little girl in flowered dresses and bare feet, you were always a little bit different. Maybe you preferred climbing and building over play-making or found yourself more interested in the at-home chemistry sets than an Easy-Bake oven. Maybe, like me, you loved your dolls with an unwavering ferocity, but you were more interested in taking their heart rate than dressing them up in new play clothes.
Now that you are in college, you’ve probably forgotten the journey you took to get here.
You’ve probably forgotten struggling in middle school math, and your teacher saying “You’re doing just fine for a girl.”
You’ve probably forgotten holding a stethoscope up to a baby doll, playing head doctor and being told that you’ll be midwife instead.
Maybe you’ve forgotten your pink and purple legos that only built one castle (complete only with a Princess in distress) and the way you would slowly, slowly sneak the grey and black pieces of your brother’s set so that you could finally build something of your own invention.
Perhaps you’ve forgotten how the girl’s toy aisle is filled with fake kitchen sets, dolls to mother and fashion icons, and how simply obscene it would be for you to even peek at the carpentry set in the next aisle over.
I bet what you haven’t forgotten is the questions you get now. I bet you haven’t forgotten raised eyebrows when you express your desire to become an Engineer. You haven’t forgotten that your “biological clock will be ticking” if you stay in medical school. You haven’t forgotten that well, sure, being a researcher would be wonderful, but will you have time for a family?
Here's my advice: Don't forget. Remember the little girl who pressed back tears and did extra problems just to prove that she was adequate enough to move up in mathematics. Remember the awkward middle-schooler who was too quiet to raise her hand in class for fear of out-performing her male classmates. Remember the high schooler who reeled in shock when someone insinuated that her place is within the home and no where else. Remember those versions of yourself, and work for them. Work for yourself, your little girl ambitions and those hopes that are finally becoming tangible.
Here's the truth: college hits you like a train. You will spend sleepless nights and unforgiving days agonizing over experiments, labs and assignments. You will be uprooted from home and thrown into a place that's unrecognizable. You will want to give up, you will want to change majors and you will want to start all over. You are not alone. And by that, I mean that your male classmates will be right alongside you. And too often, it's been shown that they will get encouragement that you are denied simply due to your gender.
But they aren't giving up so why on earth should you? (You shouldn't).
I am so sorry for the times that you will be mistaken for an intern, not a principal investigator. I am sorry that your lab coat will be sexualized.
I am sorry that when I say “doctor,” you immediately conjure up an image of a man, not a woman. I am sorry that our role models are still few and far between.
I am sorry that you still are an anomaly in your computer science class, that professors will continue to make sexist jokes, and that despite how many women are by your side, you will still be seen as the weaker sex.
What I can not apologize for, however, is my absolute determination to continue down this path that society has made extremely difficult. I can not and will not apologize for my renewed vivacity for science and my cutthroat study habits. I will not apologize for discussing my research, my internship or my life plans. I will no longer adopt a docile tone when saying that I am majoring in Neuroscience. I will no longer omit the fact that I want to get an MD and a PhD for fear of being perceived as too pretentious. I will no longer downplay my passions so that a boy does not see me as competition.
So my techy, geeky, science-loving ladies, keep on keeping on. I implore you to keep making a path for yourself. I beg you to remember your childlike abandon and love for learning. I ask you to continue to stand tall and proud and embody the image of a woman in STEM. You have the same capacity to change our world that anyone else does. You are in control of your career; make it count.
From,
A woman, future MD/PhD