Hi there now stranger,

It's crazy to look back on life a year ago and to think about where I am today. It isn't where I thought I'd be. It isn't where I thought we would be. Our ideas didn't really go according to plan, huh? Some days, it's hard to believe that I am where I am in life. It all feels like a dream at times, like this isn't what I'm supposed to be doing but when you wake up, you know this was right.

First of all, we rushed. We were young, we had motives and reasoning's as to why we flew to that point. We weren't ready to make such a commitment. We didn't know what that took. We didn't know ourselves well enough to be able to grow with each other. Looking back on it now, I know at the time I thought it was smart for me to accept, but it was really dumb. That's nothing against you, because I really thought we had the chance, but time proved we didn't.

Second, we weren't in the right place to do that. We became long distance. That in itself is a hassle and heartache. But we both struggled with our family problems. You were trying to do school, I was thinking I was going nowhere with mine. We struggled with the stress and the weight of the world on our shoulders. Most days, we tried to beat it together...but it hit a point where I couldn't anymore.

Third, we started an unhealthy relationship. Even if we had made it to this day, still together, we would've been struggling. A marriage can't start out with having a relationship being as unhealthy as ours was. The fighting and arguments, every day. The constant need to be in control, whether you realized it or not. And sadly, the more you tried to pull me closer, the farther I tried to flee. I became absolutely miserable. But for you, for us, and our future, I tried to stick it out. Sometimes, I wonder if I should've let you go when I first started to feel that way, but I had to try. And truly, I gave it my all. When you're made to feel not good enough no matter what you do, you toss in the white flag. So I suppose I should apologize for holding onto you as long as I did, because that wasn't fair to you.

Fourth, you don't get all the blame in us falling apart. I had become disconnected for months before we finally called it quits. I wavered in and out of the "We just need to end it" thoughts almost daily. But I had my fair share of screw ups. I took most of my anger from internal and external situations out on you. I said the wrong things. I jumped to conclusions. I had our goals in sight, but I lost track of them a long time ago. Some days, I was mean to you. I know at times, I probably made you lose sight of yourself too. All in all, we turned out to be fire and gasoline. We just weren't good together.

Yet, I have to thank you.

Because even though we struggled for so long, we had many good things. I have to thank you for staying with me when we initially became Long Distance. You never batted an eye or said, "I don't think we can do this." For that, I will be eternally grateful for showing me that not everyone leaves when things take a turn for the worse. Thank you for letting me cry all those nights because I didn't understand how the things that happened to me and us could really happen. I'll always give you props for trying your hardest, even when I didn't always return the favor. Thank you to you and your family for making me feel like I had a second home and for taking me in like one of their own. Thank you for all the spontaneous trips we took when I would come back. There are some things I will never forget or be able to thank you for. Most of all, even though we haven't had a great ending and when we talk, we aren't always the most civil, thank you. Thank you for your support and telling me your proud of me and what I've accomplished since we parted ways. Whether we're together or not, it still means something to me.

You have forever left an imprint on me and I look back at how we started and try to figure out where we went wrong, but again, thank you. I am so much happier with my life now. And I am so happy for where your life seems to be going. Our time together wasn't always the best, but it's something I use as a lesson. Our door closed but you opened my door to many possibilities and to the people I have in my life now. And for helping me open that door, I will be forever grateful.

Truly, I wish you the best of luck in all your endeavors. Though its not the same as it once was, I still love and care about you. I'm happy to see you turning your life around. I'm glad to know you get to explore all of life's aspects instead of being tied down with the dreams we came up with.

Thank you for the memories and lessons,

Your past future.