Humans feel the need to be loved. We want someone to accept us, cherish us, and give us their attention. It is my experience that we can not truly have these things from another person until we first give these things to ourselves. I was that girl once. I just wanted attention, like so may of us do.
But one day I realized I didn't need anyone else's attention or affection.
I spent more time with my God. God really had some things to work through with me, but I had to put the time in on my part. I spent more time with my family. I had been so negligent to the people who loved me the most in previous relationships (sorry, Mom). I spent more time with myself. I found myself, and not in one of those 'travel-the-world and make-bad-decisions' way. I did things I enjoyed, sometimes all by myself. I rode back roads in my hometown with the windows down. I went fishing on riverbanks. I laid a blanket in the backyard and read books. I learned to play the guitar. I did things just for me. And what I realized was that I loved myself, and anyone who didn't was really missing out.
Here's the interesting part.
When you are a strong, independent person, and when you truly are happy all by yourself, people want to be around you. People will want what you have.
I met the man I'm planning a wedding with after I found this, and honestly, I didn't want a relationship. I was perfectly happy by myself. But that's the crazy thing about timing, I guess. But that extra confidence that comes with truly being happy all by yourself is appealing. Even now, I keep those lessons I learned close. Yes, we are planning our wedding, but we still make time for the other important things in life. We both have our 'me time,' and we both spend time with our families.
I'm not writing this as a "How to Get a Guy" recipe. It's a piece of been-there-done-that advice. When you aren't looking for love because you have it by yourself, life unfolds in your lap. It's hard to find something if you constantly chase it away. But if you're patient and content, sometimes it comes straight to you.