Alone. Scared. Aloof. Worthless. Incompetent. Ghost. Hollow. Dead. Worried. Abandoned. Broken. Defeated. Helpless. Hopeless. Shattered. Vulnerable. Suicidal.

To those who relate to those adjectives listed above, it might seem like no one can ever understand what you are going through. How could they? Every situation is different. You feel like the world is sucking the life out of you until you are a walking corpse. Soon, you want to be an actual corpse, dead mentally and physically. You just want the suffering to end.

You don't want to show your true feelings because you know the consequence. You are in pain if you keep them in, but also in pain if you tell others. You don't want to burden them with your struggles because you know that they have their own. This makes you reclusive, even from yourself. You are forced to wear a mask everyday so people don't question you.

You don't have to feel this way. I swear there are people out there who want to help you because they care. You are worth something to them and the world. If they care, they will gladly take on the "burden" of helping you.

It kills me knowing that some of my friends have contemplated suicide, and even had multiple suicide attempts. I wish I could have helped them realize their value sooner. If one of my friends hypothetically talks about disappearing, fear engulfs me. I almost started having a breakdown at the gym because the topic was brought up.

"So many times this week I just wanted to run my car off a cliff or into a tree and fucking be gone. It's just it gets tiring always fighting".

Fighting is a sign of strength. If you are still fighting (aka alive), you know your importance to some extent. The real question is who you are fighting. Other people or yourself? Stop trying to hinder your growth and living a rewarding future. Don't try to protect others by hiding your emotions from them. Emotions are not a sign of weakness, but another form of strength. It shows that you are strong enough to still feel something and more importantly, recognize it.

So fight on, but fight for the right reasons. Fight the urge to disappear. Fight the tendency to keep everything inside. Fight to recognize your true self again.

Don't do this alone because you are not alone in this battle. There are people who want to be your soldiers in this battle. You just have to find the strength to open up and let them help.

Don't give up. I promise it will get better.