Dear Person Still in the Closet,
I know how you feel right now: wondering what life would be like when you finally take the plunge and come out as your true self. Depending on your situation, it can be both relieving but also terrifying. Living out of the closet is still a new concept to me, as I only came out a few months ago.
I didn't have anyone to look up to when I was struggling with my sexuality, and there was a lot of things that I was not prepared for when I eventually came out. Although I was met with a lot of open arms, positivity and support, I received some hurtful feedback that still bothers me to this day.
So I'm here, my friend, to prepare you and enlighten you as to what will come. Also, I'm writing this letter to give you that final shove out of the closet.
You will face rejection from some people.
If someone does not want to be your friend because of your sexuality, then you should not want to be friends with them anyways. End of story.
In all honesty, f*** them.
Being in the closet is a hard concept to get a straight person to understand.
It is hard to explain to someone who does not have to hide themselves what it like to live a lie. The only explanation that I can think of that kind of relates to this (although it's super lame), is Hannah Montana, the Disney Channel series. Although Miley Stewart was your typical high school student, at night she became pop-star Hannah Montana, which no one but her family knew about. She lived a double life that she felt overwhelmed with, until she couldn't take it anymore and "came out" as Hannah Montana.
Even though this is a weird analogy for this, it's honestly the only thing that I think people could understand (especially because we were obsessed with this show as kids - or maybe it's just me?).
I guess it's just hard to phrase to a straight person what it's like to be in the closet. But if there is one thing that any closeted person can agree on is, it's that being in the closet is a very lonely, dark, and sad place to be.
You will have to explain your sexuality to people.
People will ask you really, really dumb (and sometimes way too personal) questions. Eventually it will just roll off your shoulder and you will not feel bad about laughing in their face at their stupidity. Honestly, people are morons and have no filter, so get used to being asked weird questions about your sex life and past people who you have/have not slept with.
People will talk.
PSA: It's 2016. People are gay. Get over it!
You will develop a thicker skin because people will say things about you - either to your face or you'll hear it through the grapevine. At the end of the day if someone does not like you for who you are, it's their prerogative because you're a rockstar.
Whatever, their loss.
Even though it is 2016, there are still people out there who are not okay with the LGBTQ community.
Your sexual orientation may very well affect your ability to get a job one day, and some people will simply dislike you because of who you are and who you love. You will also learn who your true friends are.
You might not be able to be yourself right now.
Maybe being gay is not okay with your family, your religion, or the town where you live. Sometimes coming out is a waiting game, and that's a sad reality.
Your time will come.
So finally, to my closeted friend, although it might not get better tomorrow, or next week, or next year, I need you to promise that you will wait it out.
People will come around, and people who truly love you will change their views (or at least try to). Although people can be stubborn in the beginning, they will eventually see that this is not "just a phase." You will be accepted one day.
There is a light at the end of this dreaded closet tunnel, and one day you will get there. It might not be immediately - but you will get there.
The light at the end of this tunnel is so bright and filled with happiness, that it will make those years of misery worth it, I promise.
People will come around, you will get stronger, and you will one day meet the love of your live one day and not give a shit what anyone else thinks.
The light at the end of the tunnel is a bright one, and you should be there to see it.
Sincerely,
The former closet case, and now proud lesbian
